Mike_Diesel_D

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Mike_diesel_d's favorite FMLs

By wtfdreams - 17/05/2009 12:33 - United States

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

agreeclassic 608

vote type 1 91

By coughandcold - 27/03/2009 01:45 - United States

Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML

agreeclassic 189 781

vote type 1 37 885

By konens_dick - 22/03/2009 10:38 - United States

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

agreeclassic 276 904

vote type 1 37 150

Horror movie

By ihatevideos - 16/03/2009 23:08 - United States

Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989." They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML

agreeclassic 194 824

vote type 1 37 514

Stop talking!

By Noname - 12/03/2009 11:24 - New Zealand

Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML

agreeclassic 157 331

vote type 1 18 063