monkey1501

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Alexandria, USA
26 years-old
Tuesday 05 January 1999
single

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Monkey1501's favorite FMLs

By USSEYL - 26/11/2008 04:43 - United Kingdom

Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML

agreeclassic 51 116

vote type 1 27 502

By actually just constipated.. and stupid - 04/03/2015 15:03 - Tunisia

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

agreeclassic 26 383

vote type 1 38 039

By Anonymous - 27/02/2015 19:37 - United States - Roseville

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

agreeclassic 36 034

vote type 1 4 313

Manly man

By MCForty - 27/02/2015 15:29 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I won a pool game against some guy. His friends started mocking him for getting his ass whooped by a pregnant girl who couldn't even lean over the table. He got mad, swung his pool stick at them, missed, and hit me right in the face. FML

agreeclassic 39 042

vote type 1 3 140

By frediqqq - 26/02/2015 04:21 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I am still finding glitter in my ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML

agreeclassic 30 752

vote type 1 6 388

frediqqq app_comment_confession_title

frediqqq 8

Monday 2 March 2015 4:22

Hi, OP here, yes it was The Enmore, and it was a great show. I actually went to see Apocalyptica, Manson was just an extra. I really don't know how it got in my crack, I was wearing clothes (a tight dress AND stockings). I was on the barrier, and right in front of the cannon. I was shaking it out of my hair all the way home, and thought I had gotten the most of it out. Unfortunately when I got undressed I found it had gotten into my clothes too, under my bra, all over my back. There was just so much of the stuff, the floor was thick with it! Needless to say I avoided Manson at Soundwave yesterday. I did see a bunch of glitter on the ground though when I went to the stage after for a different band! Haha herpes of the craft world - love it!