abbylauren2013

miss

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Pittsburgh, United States
34 years-old
Sunday 28 April 1991
single

A propos de Abbylauren2013

Name's Abby. Must taste good since it's always in someone's mouth ;). Words that sum up everything: Trucker Mouth. Boys. DGAF. Iron man. Piercings. Tattoos. Gauges. Photography. Music. Being late. Art. Head banging. Laughing. Goofing off. Loving. Spontaneity. Skateboarding. Singing. Hello Kitty. Dancing. Smiling. Pick-up lines. Pokemon. Zombies. Bracelets. Video games. Makeup. Ice Tea. Monster. Moutain Dew. Sex. Drugs. Rock n’ Roll. Comedy. Horror. Romance. You love me already.

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Abbylauren2013's favorite FMLs

By Noname - 25/02/2009 01:20 - United States

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box saying, "Love, mom." FML

agreeclassic 136 029

vote type 1 24 466

Awkward pause

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Blue Springs

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

agreeclassic 48 511

vote type 1 17 925

By Anonymous - 12/03/2013 04:43 - United States

Today, my pet parrot learned a new trick. In addition to imitating my dog, and my voice when I call my mother, it can now imitate my sex noises, and likes to screech them whenever someone comes into the room. FML

agreeclassic 30 210

vote type 1 9 281

By cremyfrozentreat - 10/03/2013 13:40 - United States - Orlando

Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

agreeclassic 52 896

vote type 1 9 652

cremyfrozentreat app_comment_confession_title

cremyfrozentreat 11

Wednesday 13 March 2013 1:41

You're right, I did not plug his nose. I was too busy laughing at the whole situation. He shoved his nose into my boob while he held my nose closed. I don't know how he managed to keep erect with everything.

By Chelsea - 27/02/2013 22:39 - United States - Aurora

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

agreeclassic 32 993

vote type 1 2 674