dirtbike10101

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Dirtbike10101's favorite FMLs

Emergency

By Anonymous - 03/05/2009 23:22 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of two years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

agreeclassic 307 539

vote type 1 20 918

By Anonymous - 18/08/2015 12:34 - United States - Arlington Heights

Today, I was telling my dad how my boyfriend dumped me yesterday. He responded by blowing his nose into his hand, wiping it in my hair, then saying "There, a REAL problem to whine about." FML

agreeclassic 26 199

vote type 1 2 900

By River - 18/07/2015 04:08 - Oranjestad

Today, my boyfriend's idiotic friend shoved me into a stream so I could be "reunited" with my family, since my name is River. The first thing I saw as I climbed out, soaking wet, was my boyfriend high-fiving his friend. FML

agreeclassic 28 604

vote type 1 2 799

By tycrist8 - 26/06/2015 23:32 - United States - Lawrence

Today, my family and I were driving and we passed a strip club called DB's Golden Banana. My 5-year-old sister asked what it was, so my dad said it was a place where people dance. Now my sister keeps telling people she wants to be a dancer at DB's Golden Banana. FML

agreeclassic 28 726

vote type 1 3 165

Keep it down

By Rusty - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - New City

Today, I'm actually starting to miss my former heroin addict neighbor because of how mellow he was compared to my new neighbors. FML

agreeclassic 30 197

vote type 1 2 581