aristotrash

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Aristotrash's favorite FMLs

Taking the piss

By Anonymous - 18/04/2009 05:09 - United States

Today, I drove past a firehouse that had volunteer firemen taking collections. I take out a $20 and start to roll the window down when I remember my window was broken. I ended up driving by, holding the $20 against the window, staring at the fireman. Now the fireman thinks I was taunting him. FML

agreeclassic 51 854

vote type 1 17 125

By Anonymous - 30/08/2010 02:02 - United States

Today, I went to an audition for a play. The casting director thanked me for my time, but told me they would pass because I had "the emotional range of a turnip." FML

agreeclassic 23 493

vote type 1 7 162

Don't stop me now

By Hobbsie - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my dad walked in on me singing "Bohemian Rhapsody", while spinning in circles with the cat in my arms. I thought I was home alone. FML

agreeclassic 15 774

vote type 1 30 537

Woof

By rimjob - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my dog barked for 30 minutes with me yelling for him to shut up. Guess that's how long it takes someone to steal the rims from my truck. Good dog. FML

agreeclassic 8 946

vote type 1 43 596

Have a good one!

By suuuuuupucci - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mother confronted me about my bird's masturbation problem. We spent Christmas Eve Googling "bird masturbating" and watching videos to see if that was actually what my bird was doing. At least he's having a good Christmas. FML

agreeclassic 29 201

vote type 1 3 528