vadimrud

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Vadimrud's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 08/04/2009 10:26 - United States

Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes blamed the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. FML

agreeclassic 73 954

vote type 1 5 291

Boys will be boys

By optimistic2628 - 19/10/2011 14:03 - United States

Today, my 5 year-old twin boys decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

agreeclassic 38 062

vote type 1 7 064

You hypocrite

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML

agreeclassic 37 084

vote type 1 6 569

How did it come to this?

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to say, "Put away your burrito," "That ruler is not a lightsaber," and, "Stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

agreeclassic 36 726

vote type 1 5 371

By shitless88 - 20/08/2011 00:23 - United States

Today, I'm sitting in a public toilet when a guy kicks the door in and shoves a police badge in my face, screaming for me to tell him "the path of Lemmiwinks". After a whole minute of me shitting my balls off, he bursts into laughter and tells me I've been pranked. I was too embarrassed to report him. FML

agreeclassic 32 876

vote type 1 4 271