yarzz

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Yarzz's favorite FMLs

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By 1234 - 11/07/2009 16:41 - Canada

Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one rip. My husband yelled, "She likes to eat beans." FML

agreeclassic 61 596

vote type 1 10 446

But… why?

By Fmylife - 06/07/2011 09:17 - United States

Today, I have a cold. Trying to clear out my stuffy nose, I tried putting mouthwash in my nose. Thinking it was an awesome idea, I put some more in. I then starting screaming in pain due to the extreme burning in my nostrils. FML

agreeclassic 9 264

vote type 1 121 024

By Username - 15/06/2011 01:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML

agreeclassic 42 412

vote type 1 15 749

By notinthebutt - 14/06/2011 17:57 - United States

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

agreeclassic 15 327

vote type 1 64 337

By John jacob - 13/06/2011 06:25 - United States

Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML

agreeclassic 54 677

vote type 1 6 215