FailsDaily007

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31 years-old
Thursday 18 August 1994
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A propos de Failsdaily007

My life doesn't suck that much. Lucky me.

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Failsdaily007's favorite FMLs

By Noname - 25/02/2009 01:20 - United States

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box saying, "Love, mom." FML

agreeclassic 136 029

vote type 1 24 466

By Anonymous - 31/12/2012 11:16 - United States - Woodinville

Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML

agreeclassic 35 456

vote type 1 5 649

I want Jesus to come inside my heart

By Weirdo - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to church for the first time in my life. They had a Jesus statue at the altar, and I noticed he was surprisingly muscular. Ten minutes later, I had to excuse myself, after I caught myself fantasizing over a crucified Jesus. FML

agreeclassic 12 953

vote type 1 40 909

Excuuuuuuse me?

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 13:32 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

agreeclassic 55 557

vote type 1 11 524

In case you haven’t noticed, I'm weird. I’m a weirdo. I don't fit in

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Conover

Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better I said that she looked small. She said, "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

agreeclassic 18 131

vote type 1 40 969