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Locks_fml's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 25/10/2008 16:54

Today, it has been a year and a half since my boyfriend discovered online poker. Annoyed to see him spending every evening playing on his laptop, I threatened him: “Now honey, you have to choose. It’s your poker or me!” Answer: “You are bluffing!” FML

agreeclassic 55 186

vote type 1 13 073

Not now!

By Adam - 16/03/2010 20:51 - United States

Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML

agreeclassic 37 355

vote type 1 5 190

By liu_kang - 16/03/2010 18:55 - United States

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

agreeclassic 32 173

vote type 1 7 721

Gamers, man…

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 02:09 - United States

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!" He then started singing the Super Mario Brothers theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML

agreeclassic 32 873

vote type 1 5 889

By uHazFailedTotall - 03/03/2010 21:18 - Norway

Today, I managed to fall face-first into a used condom. FML

agreeclassic 39 177

vote type 1 5 819

uHazFailedTotall app_comment_confession_title

uHazFailedTotall 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 22:30

my brother pushed me, and I tripped into the snow, where there was an used condom.