lololfail9065

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Lololfail9065's favorite FMLs

Excuses

By sucks - 12/03/2009 17:53 - United States

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very Christian family, I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "Is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" FML

agreeclassic 295 680

vote type 1 54 196

By Anonymous - 11/05/2011 17:32 - Canada

Today, I found out I was born as a result of someone switching my mom's birth control pills with Tic Tacs. FML

agreeclassic 50 159

vote type 1 4 230

By vaalcrawford - 11/05/2011 04:59 - Canada

Today, I puked up a centipede. FML

agreeclassic 58 743

vote type 1 8 145

vaalcrawford app_comment_confession_title

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Thursday 12 May 2011 17:31

it obvs got in my system while i was sleeping. and if theyre poisinous then thats why i had to puke. nd yes i have seen the human centipede, no it was an actual centipede. i cried when i saw it it was ******* disgusting.

By Sola - 11/05/2011 04:10

Today, I wore a Super Mario Brothers T-shirt to school that showed a picture of Mario with a mushroom above his head. I got suspended for "referencing illegal drugs". FML

agreeclassic 50 239

vote type 1 5 064

By coldwetnose - 09/05/2011 06:08 - United States

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

agreeclassic 47 252

vote type 1 18 917