Arsenal64

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Arsenal64's favorite FMLs

By offbeans - 17/02/2009 02:29 - United States

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

agreeclassic 267 597

vote type 1 90 937

By Cat Piss - 15/12/2013 16:58 - United States - Lavon

Today, I was woken up to the sound of my cat peeing on the pillow next to mine. When I yelled at him, he jumped over my face and off the bed. He was still peeing the entire time. FML

agreeclassic 47 697

vote type 1 6 888

By igotpride - 09/12/2013 21:01 - United States

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

agreeclassic 61 840

vote type 1 5 387

By knee pain - 09/12/2013 19:17 - United States

Today, I woke up in my hospital bed after having knee surgery, on the wrong knee. FML

agreeclassic 73 120

vote type 1 4 039

By OakStake - 08/12/2013 22:07 - United States - New York

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

agreeclassic 60 332

vote type 1 3 427