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    : 320



    Authoritarian regime

    Anonymous - 22/04/2025 08:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, I was detained by a security guard. I heard him trying to justify detaining me to his boss and it was basically, “She was eyeballing me, so I showed her who’s boss.” I'm now banned from the shop, which is a 30 yard walk from my home. My weekly shop is now a 4 mile drive away. FML
    500
    87
      

    Good friends

    Anonymous - 19/08/2025 08:00 - United States

    Today, I have been trying to get pregnant for 4 years. I’ve gone through numerous expensive fertility treatments with no success. A former friend of mine owes me almost $2K. I’ve asked for the money back numerous times so that I can use it to pay for another round of IVF. She won’t pay. She just announced that she's pregnant.. FML
    500
    135
      

    Airbnb blues

    Anonymous - 24/08/2025 23:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, to make money, I’ve had to Airbnb my house while I sleep at my sister's. The very first guest I had caused fire damage to the kitchen and a huge skid mark on the mattress. Not on the sheets, on the actual mattress. No idea where the sheets are, I think they stole them, and the toaster. FML
    500
    130
      

    Let's celebrate

    Anonymous - 29/09/2025 15:00

    Today, my son had a baby so I poured out the last of the bottle of scotch bought by my grandfather around about 1910. There was just enough for two glasses. I took a sip and spat it out, leading to my son confessing that he drank it as a teenager and replaced it with god knows what brown liquid. FML
    500
    98
      

    The Hobble

    Anonymous - 05/05/2025 05:00 - United States

    Today, three days into my vacation, I ended up spraining not one, but BOTH of my ankles. Now my entire vacation will be spent healing. FML
    500
    91
      

    Happy?

    Anonymous - 30/09/2025 03:00

    Today, the love of my life told me she no longer wants to be with me. Two kids and a happy life thrown away. Today I realised that nothing is forever. FML
    499
    96
      

    Hang in there, man

    FuhhTynderMaye - 04/03/2025 14:00 - United States

    Today, I found out I got HIV. I’ve used condoms with all my Tinder hookups and never shared needles or anything with anyone. I was supposed to have a Tinder date tonight. Guess I’ll just be single forever then. FML
    499
    331
      

    No scrubs

    Anonymous - 05/05/2025 17:00 - United States

    Today, I was told “unofficially” that I should stop wearing brown scrubs to work. More than one patient complained to the front desk and said they thought I was naked when I walked into the room. My scrubs aren’t even tight. I'm pretty sure it’s my brown skin that bothers them more than brown scrubs. FML
    499
    188
      

    Get on with it

    Anonymous - 31/05/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, our manager went on a screaming tantrum because he says none of us wants to work and we make him look bad to the bosses. Yeah, the reason we’re not working is because he forgot to order our steel this week. Can’t do custom welding without the materials, boss. FML
    499
    60
      

    Holiday season

    - 25/11/2025 09:00

    Today, I’m a recovering alcoholic. With the upcoming holiday, I have two choices; I can go over my family’s house who are all heavy drinkers and hope I don’t relapse, or I can stay home by myself and hope the crushing loneliness doesn’t drive me back to the bottle. FML
    499
    91
      

    Please be happy

    - 10/12/2025 15:00

    Today, I went all out for my husband on our anniversary. I planned meals, took him to a stage show, and got him a bottle of cologne he loves. He was moody, distant, and at one point crying. Why? He found out his ex-wife is getting married today and he couldn’t stop thinking about her. FML
    499
    86
      

    How could you?

    Anonymous - 04/06/2025 21:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, my wife was in labour and bouncing on her inflatable ball to relieve the pain when it popped. This thing has lasted her entire pregnancy and it chose to burst now, sending her crashing to the floor groin first while 8 cm dilated. And as the husband, it is of course all my fault, you bastard. FML
    498
    113
      

    HR sucks

    Anonymous - 23/08/2025 16:00 - United States - Akron

    Today, HR informed me that they would not be investigating my formal complaint against my boss. This after four months of relentless bullying, including calling me while I was on vacation to tell me to do work, and eliminating my position when she found out I had gone to HR. FML
    498
    74
      

    #GirlBoss

    What the fuck - 06/06/2025 18:00 - United States - New York

    Today, I caught my underage daughter selling naked pictures to internet sickos. Trying to stay calm, I asked her why. She said, "Should I go work at McDonald's for pennies? I've made over twelve grand in three months selling pictures of my tits." FML
    498
    137
      

    Can I get a raincheck?

    Emily - 11/02/2025 15:00 - United States

    Today, I fell down my backyard steps at my own housewarming party, ended up breaking my ankle, and am now non-weight bearing for 10 weeks. I'm supposed to start a new job tomorrow, where I'm always on my feet. FML
    498
    87
      

    Rosy picture

    Heartbroken - 03/03/2025 11:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

    Today, my son complained that he didn't want to go to school. My husband asked, "Want to swap? You can go work all day, come home tired, and your only reward is a whiny wife and bratty child griping and complaining and expecting you to fix every problem." Part of me died when I heard that. FML
    497
    464
      

    Team building

    Anonymous - 30/03/2025 09:00 - Belgium - Merendree

    Today, it was my last day at my current job after a year and a half and the end of my contract. I brought snacks and a gift for the office. Nobody even bothered to come say goodbye. FML
    497
    108
      

    Beginner's protest

    Vegansux - 23/08/2025 03:00 - Netherlands

    Today, my sister was yet again sprawled out on the kitchen floor. Passed out drunk? Nah, it was a "die-in" as part of her plan to annoy us into becoming insufferable vegans like her. I accidentally stepped on her hand and she screamed, making me jump and splash hot coffee everywhere. FML
    497
    74
      

    Numb

    Anonymous - 08/02/2025 18:00 - United States - Canton

    Today, an accident, which ripped off skin off of one side of my penis (which healed fine) a year ago, now has a side effect. If I sit on a hard chair too long, that area gets numb to the point of being extremely uncomfortable and the only solution is to stand up and rub it until the numbness goes away. FML
    497
    94
      

    Gimme more

    Anonymous - 27/05/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, I finally got the call from HR telling me I passed the interview and will get a permanent position, doing the same job I already do. Then they continued to say that if I accept, my pay will be cut to match “other employees pay”. I barely make it on what they are paying me now. I also have a Master's degree. FML
    496
    94
      

    Wishful thinking

    Anonymous - 15/07/2025 21:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, my wife told me she’s pregnant and we went through the whole range of emotions together, surprise, happiness, tears, anger, acceptance, you name it. An hour later she said she wanted to save the pregnancy test for memories. Guess she forgot her glasses, it very clearly says NOT pregnant. FML
    496
    103
      

    Everything computer!

    Anonymous - 09/05/2025 08:00 - Australia

    Today, my computer decided to upgrade to Windows 11, moments before I presented to dozens of people. I had to go solely by memory with no notes, graphs, or illustrations. FML
    496
    122
      

    Red thong, I mean red flag

    Anonymous - 07/10/2025 03:00

    Today, I got the silent treatment from my boyfriend because my high waisted sweatpants accidentally slipped a little when I bent down, just as my creepy neighbor happened to walk by and my thong was exposed a little. The only thing he said to me all day was right before bed when he said, “Throw out that fucking underwear.” FML
    496
    113
      

    Bad friend

    Anonymous - 25/05/2025 15:00 - United States - Los Angeles

    Today, after I put my friend's birthday in my phone wrong when we first met, I sent him a "Happy Birthday" on the wrong day, thinking it was the day after. I genuinely apologized and changed it. He then sent me an aggressive text about how I’m a bad friend, and won’t be coming to MY birthday party. I’ve apologized 12 times. FML
    495
    103
      

    Highly relatable

    Alexa, play "Lazy" by Deep Purple - 07/02/2025 05:00 - United States

    Today, I woke up and did the same thing I do at the start of every day: lie in my bed and stare up at the ceiling for who knows how long, all while contemplating how little I've accomplished in my life. Depression sucks. FML
    495
    136
      

    Freaked out

    Anonymous - 25/10/2025 15:00

    Today, I came home in an awful mood, and grumbled to my wife that sometimes I want to strangle my boss. My wife regularly screams up and down the house over the most minor shit, but apparently this upset her so much that she took the kids to her mom's, and is demanding I get anger management. FML
    495
    92
      

    Charming dude

    HittingDaGymNow - 05/11/2025 03:00

    Today, my now-ex boyfriend said that his dream girl has big breasts. When I pointed out that I have big breasts, he told me that, “But you’re plus-sized, that don’t count. I’m talking 'bout girls with hourglass figures, not big back bitches.” Nice to know that’s how he felt about me this whole time. FML
    495
    160
      

    Exploitation

    Anonymous - 08/06/2025 00:00 - United States - Baldwin Park

    Today, our boss told me and her other salaried staff, "There is literally no problem this office faces that can't be solved by you all working after hours and on weekends." FML
    495
    73
      

    Time to get working, kid

    Anonymous - 23/05/2025 09:00 - United States - Meredith

    Today, after yesterday was the second anniversary of my mother’s passing, it’s now my son’s first birthday. To top it off, my job just laid everyone off today too. I had the only income in the family. FML
    494
    69
      

    Mommy's boy

    Fed up - 07/01/2026 09:00

    Today, for the hundredth fucking time, my stepson asked for a snack twenty minutes before dinner. When I told him no, he cried to his mom, who yelled at me and gave him a granola bar. Then, when dinner came, he "wasn't hungry", picked at his food, and fussed and cried. FML
    494
    103
      
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    FMyLife FMyLife
    FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I was on the phone with my mother. She asked me if I was going to make it to Christmas at home. I told her that I would try and make it home since it would be my grandma's last Christmas alive. To my luck, grandma was sitting in the car with my mother, and speaker phone was in use. FML
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    Today, I found out that when I drink alcohol, I snore so bad my boyfriend contemplated suffocating me with a pillow to get some sleep. FML
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    Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear sporty, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just when a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML
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    Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML
    640
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    Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML
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    Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
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    © VDM SAS,

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