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By Ewwwwno - 19/09/2017 11:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I found out that most of my family has the same fetish as I do. I don't know whether to be revolted or relieved that I'm not the only one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 529

You deserved it 598

By jettison17 - 28/07/2016 06:41 - United States - Chandler

Today, despite my best efforts to keep my new apartment clean and weeks of denying the complex has a bug problem, I came face to face with a roach in my cupboard. I swear the little bastard waved at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 283

You deserved it 1 593

jettison17 tells us more.

jettison17 7

Friday 29 July 2016 5:43

OP here. I've spoken to management and they're working on an exterminator, as the whole complex was bought out 3 weeks ago. Hopefully it's sooner rather than later, or I will have to burn it down! In the meantime my cat and I have shown no mercy.

By feelsbadman - 12/07/2018 05:00

Today, I decided to surprise my crush by wishing her happy birthday when she came out of the lift. Too bad she was busy giving someone a blow job and didn’t notice me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 926

You deserved it 621

By CharlesEmersonW - 02/09/2018 02:30 - Romania - Timisoara

Today, 5 years after the fact, I finally realized how dense I am for not understanding that when she undresses in front of you and poses naked, she isn't expecting you to be a gentleman and turn around and leave the room. It's haunting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 877

You deserved it 3 396

The family tree is a stump

By Anonymous - 30/10/2018 12:00

Today, my family is too damn close. My uncle on my dad's side just got my aunt on my mum's side pregnant, three cousins from dad's side are dating three cousins from mum's side, and a half brother from my dad is marrying my half sister from my mum. We are the inbred rednecks of this town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 544

You deserved it 367

By Tired Girlfriend - 14/06/2017 22:00

Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 907

You deserved it 509

By Angus - 17/09/2015 19:48 - France

Today, my son had a secret party. At first I was mad, then I had a complete and total Incredible Hulk meltdown when I realized that he had opened a bottle of very expensive whisky, originally bottled by my great great grandfather in Scotland, and used it as a mixer with fucking Pepsi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 057

You deserved it 2 678

A Poopy Proposal

By aliciababy24 - 25/07/2017 21:00 - Australia - Ashburton

Today, while on a weekend away, my boyfriend and I went for a walk. I now get to tell everyone the story of how my boyfriend got down on one knee into a pile of cow shit while proposing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 352

You deserved it 603

By Anonymous - 19/08/2015 12:14 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my sister recorded the sound of me having intense diarrhea, retching at the stench, and eventually breaking down in tears. I only found out when I saw she'd posted it online, with the caption "lol #gaytard #sorrynotsorry". I've never been called a pussy by so many people before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 036

You deserved it 4 010

By Char - 24/09/2017 19:00 - United Kingdom - Gravesend

Today, whilst at work, I had a woman come in with a problem with the seat in her car not moving backwards or forwards. There was a dildo stuck in the chair rail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 861

You deserved it 284

By krabby patty - 25/05/2018 06:00

Today, my husband and I mutually discovered that we are both infected with pubic lice. How? I found his and he found mine while we were in the middle of 69-ing each other. So, so gross. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 526

You deserved it 1 635

By emeraldapostle - 10/11/2018 14:26

Today, while dreaming, I was thirsty and grabbed a glass of water to drink. The taste was so horrible that it caused me to wake up and realize I was drinking the isopropyl alcohol I keep on my nightstand for my CPAP machine. All Poison Control had to say was, "Uh oh." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 795

You deserved it 616

emeraldapostle tells us more.

emeraldapostle 17

Thursday 8 November 2018 23:01

Hey all, OP here. I'm fine, and Poison Control helped me out after saying, "uh oh." Now I keep my isopropyl somewhere besides my nightstand

By MATTY2512 - 13/07/2016 18:13 - Canada - Marshall

Today, I went into the house, only to hear my mother shouting "DON'T PINCH MY NIPPLE" at the top of her lungs in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 842

You deserved it 2 481

By hello to you too - 30/08/2018 12:30 - United States - New York

Today, I met my new 7ft tall and heavily muscular neighbor. Before I could say anything, he greeted me in his really deep voice with, "Excuse me, but is this yours?" He was holding my muddy 3-year-old son, who he'd found in his backyard, by his jumpers like a stuffed cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 968

You deserved it 934

She's electric

By nnniii - 16/11/2015 04:55 - United States - Seattle

Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his dick and shocked him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 518

You deserved it 5 327

Dad! No!

By Ginger - 08/07/2017 16:30 - United States - Owensboro

Today, I got married. My dad wanted to see me before the ceremony in my dress. The dress I wore was not my usual kind of dress, strapless. The first thing my dad said, "Ginger! You've got boobs!" Not exactly the father-daughter moment I'd envisioned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 179

You deserved it 550

Adding insult to injury

By SomeExplainingToDo - 04/09/2017 04:30

Today, I sent a polite yet strongly-worded email to one of my corporate clients in which I expressed my irritation at being asked the same question by the same team for the 4th day in a row. I ended it with "Regards!" but accidentally swapped the 'g' with a 't'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 502

You deserved it 1 775

By Sam - 10/10/2017 16:00

Today, I went to my first ultrasound appointment. The daughter I was hoping for is actually going to be boy triplets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 259

You deserved it 1 279

I'll bite

By Loser - 29/06/2018 13:30 - United States - Winona

Today, I was skinny dipping with some cute girls from school, one of which I really like. Everything was great until I caught a fish on my own personal nightcrawler and they had to take me to the ER. I'll forever be known as "Salmon Dick". FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 508

You deserved it 727

By Anonymous - 29/09/2018 22:00 - Denmark

Today, I had a one night stand. While lying next to him afterwards, he nervously said, "Listen, I, uh... I bought this when I was drunk." I wasn't really sure what he referred to until I realized: the bed sheets. The Twilight bed sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 441

You deserved it 815

By bytemuch - 17/07/2017 15:04

Today, my boyfriend said he's in love with another woman and is leaving me. This wouldn't be as bad if I weren't seven months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 219

You deserved it 683

ByteMuch tells us more.

ByteMuch 9

Thursday 13 July 2017 23:55

OP here. First of all thank you all for your kind support it was nice to see so many positive comments :) He will be involved in our child's life and I agree with all of you who have commented that it's better that this happened now than later and possibly behind my back. We're working things out :)

By Marty - 10/10/2017 13:00 - United States - Irving

Today, I bought a small bottle of liquor to share with my husband to celebrate our move. It took three hours at the store as the cashier, manager, GM, and a police officer checked my ID believing it was fake. I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 203

You deserved it 315