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By no touching - 06/03/2015 14:03 - Australia - Blacktown

Today, at a music festival, some douche unzipped the back of my skirt, exposing my Ninja Turtle undies to everyone before running off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 698

You deserved it 5 224

By Annie - 24/02/2011 06:39 - United States

Today, I went to my son's high school play. The moment I arrived at the auditorium, I shouted out his name to let him know I made it. Thinking I was a student, a teacher yelled, "SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!" Scared out of my mind, I quickly obeyed, to mass giggling from the kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 946

You deserved it 36 882

By emopoe - 09/10/2013 18:25 - United States - Salem

Today, I realized I can't afford to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years, as we split the rent. I'll need a second job just to get out of my bad relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 425

You deserved it 8 305

emopoe tells us more.

emopoe 12

Friday 11 October 2013 17:36

OP here. I can't live with a roommate, did that for 4 years and learned a lot about what happens when your roomie doesn't come up with their half of the rent, and lost way too many friends that way. It would be worse than what I'm dealing with now. Our apartment is already the cheapest in town, I don't have parents or friends to move in with. The bright side is, my boyfriend is NOT abusive. And to the nasty comments that say YDI for using him for money, I clearly stated we split the rent.

By Anonymous - 16/10/2012 01:19 - United States - Evansville

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 713

You deserved it 3 941

By Anonymous - 29/11/2014 16:28 - United States - Portland

Today, I thought it would be cute to put on a Santa hat and ask my crush what he wanted for Christmas. He said "A girlfriend." I took off my Santa hat and yelled "Ta-da!" He added, "An ATTRACTIVE girlfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 446

You deserved it 5 764

By secret - 02/11/2010 19:11 - United States

Today, my fiancé told me it was a mistake to propose to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 768

You deserved it 5 443

Harmless, huh?

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 11:49 - Malaysia

Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a five minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 832

You deserved it 7 561

By Chad - 14/08/2010 17:37 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I made lists of what celebrities we're interested in. The first one she listed wasn't a celebrity - it was my brother. He's spending the weekend with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 916

You deserved it 4 084

By iJuli - 08/04/2012 05:17 - United States - Billings

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be a good idea to break up with me in his car. I had to walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 456

You deserved it 2 691

By neveragain - 16/03/2012 05:11 - Canada

Today, I gave in and let my friend give me a makeover. She couldn't find my eyelash curler, but decided that if she used scissors lightly, it would work just the same. Needless to say, it did not work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 495

You deserved it 30 902

By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 08:40 - United States

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 933

You deserved it 7 352

By Goatczar - 29/04/2015 14:49 - United States - Orem

Today, my two managers, both over 30, were arguing over whether or not butter is a sauce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 844

You deserved it 2 907

By Nanabanana1 - 07/02/2012 01:23 - United States

Today, I was dumped. My boyfriend was too afraid to break up with me, so he sent the girl he cheated on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 078

You deserved it 2 878

By CaityLovesBo - 05/02/2012 18:49 - United States

Today, my mom went to the store. She said she was feeling generous, and had gotten everyone a little treat. My brothers each got candy and a movie. I got acne medication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 653

You deserved it 3 548

Party time!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Pharr

Today, I finally got my driver's permit. To celebrate, my parents decided to go to a bar and make me wait in the car because I'm now the designated driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 046

You deserved it 4 859

It's not what you think

By shway - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 991

You deserved it 7 453

By sting - 06/12/2014 01:32 - United States - Valencia

Today, I broke a glass case containing my pet scorpions. I still can't find them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 663

You deserved it 16 490

By PapaMoti - 15/08/2013 08:04 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went to a store. I was wearing a shirt that I'd bought from the very same store, and was accused of stealing. When I tried explaining, the manager said I was lying because I'm a teenager and "all teenagers are full of shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 011

You deserved it 3 954

PapaMoti tells us more.

PapaMoti 21

Sunday 18 August 2013 4:29

Thanks for all the helpful comments! As to what happened next, security was called and we ended up looking at the camera footage which proved that I didn't steal the shirt. The manager was humiliated and apologized, but either way I am not going to be shopping from that store ever again.

By tal - 22/08/2012 09:57 - France

Today, I packed my bags and left for the airport. When I passed through security, the X-ray scanner discovered that my cat had also come along for the ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 65