Miscellaneous: Yesterday's news

Yesterday's news

By rofld - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I ran over a newspaper with the lawnmower, instantly volunteering myself to pick up confetti for hours. FML

agreeclassic 18 022

vote type 1 28 356

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Similar FMLs

By Anonymous - 02/04/2012 02:25 - United States - Binghamton

Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML

agreeclassic 29 961

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By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 15:50 - United States

Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weedwacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgetting that I am mowing where the dogs go to the restroom, I absent-mindedly weedwack over dog poop. Which got flung into my face. FML

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By prisym - 30/08/2017 13:00

Today, I found the $3,200 engagement ring I dropped in my yard. I ran over it with my lawnmower. FML

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vote type 1 801

By racking-leaves - 14/11/2012 19:55 - United States

Today, after spending three hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML

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Fresh and not Fit

By Anonymous - 14/06/2011 01:08 - United States

Today, I ran out of breath while mowing the lawn. I was on a riding lawn mower. FML

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Many such cases

By Anonymous - 29/03/2025 11:00 - Canada - Eastern Passage

Today, while trying to pick up dog poo, I tripped and landed in the pile. FML

agreeclassic 389

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Hi there!

By Anonymous - 25/09/2025 20:00

Today, my neighbor waved at me while he mowing his lawn. Wanting to be friendly, I waved back. In doing so I tripped on the curb, fell onto my own trash can, and rolled halfway into the street. He didn’t stop mowing. FML

agreeclassic 291

vote type 1 133

By leaf hater - 17/11/2011 12:43 - United States

Today, my elderly neighbor used his snowblower to send all of the fallen leaves in his yard into mine, which I'd raked earlier that morning. FML

agreeclassic 26 973

vote type 1 2 375

By tash - 24/05/2011 12:33 - Canada

Today, while I was mowing the lawn in my backyard, I ran over a glass bottle. My legs looked like a disco ball. FML

agreeclassic 40 989

vote type 1 9 462

Blowback

By Bleh! - 07/06/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I wanted revenge on my neighbor, whose dog craps in my yard, so I spent a day at the dog park gathering up dog shit. I piled it up by the property line and ran over it with the mower, intending to spray his driveway and car with turds. Instead, it gummed up the mower. Now it stinks too bad to fix. FML

agreeclassic 68

vote type 1 1 073

Intoxicunt 5

Wednesday 14 July 2010 23:15

You must've had some tall grass to not notice a newspaper.

JCo352 3

Wednesday 14 July 2010 23:19

I would have just sprayed it with a hose, it's biodegradable.

Comments

fricgm 6

Thursday 8 December 2011 4:50

vaccuum cleaner?

rooboy 16

Friday 20 April 2012 15:05

Maybe you should watch where your going?

SkoomaKi 27

Thursday 9 August 2012 1:18

It might not be normal, try using a hoover?

cl4ptp 18

Sunday 2 September 2012 0:32

use a rake?

obri98 10

Monday 31 December 2012 11:08

Use a vacuum lol :P

nicholasj96 9

Tuesday 20 August 2013 3:09

I would've just let nature do it's job with that one .

Teckzilla 21

Wednesday 15 April 2015 6:50

Well, you know your blade's sharp!

spencer3000 9

Wednesday 6 January 2016 6:13

A lawn in NY? YDI.

Dr_Awesome654 24

Friday 23 September 2016 2:21

Ever heard of a rake?

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, at the nail salon, a Korean woman was making fun of me. I kindly told her, in Korean, that I understood. She kindly told me, in English, that she didn't care. FML

agreeclassic 47 795

vote type 1 4 271

Today, I surprised my girlfriend of 3 years with Stone Sour and Korn tickets, since I knew how badly she wanted to go. She responded by asking if we could go as just friends. FML

agreeclassic 4 782

vote type 1 342

Today, I was cleaning out the cabinets under my kitchen sink and I farted with such force that my dog thought someone was knocking at the door. FML

agreeclassic 6 661

vote type 1 1 033

Today, I sent my boyfriend a nude picture, he sent it back to me with a mustache on my face from that iPhone app and told me he likes it much better that way. FML

agreeclassic 29 864

vote type 1 9 618

Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML

agreeclassic 27 635

vote type 1 6 022

Today, I was playing hide and seek with my eight year old cousin. For the past two turns, he had been hiding in the bathroom. I saw the bathroom lights on, yet again, and opened the door with a triumphant "AHA!" It was my Grandma, taking a smelly dump. FML

agreeclassic 19 421

vote type 1 38 125