Stalker Miscellaneous WHO ARE YOU?

WHO ARE YOU?

Targeted - - United States - Kirkland

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

It's sus to us

Anonymous - - United States - New Orleans

Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML

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Suspect

Anonymous - 01/08/2009 04:30 - United States

Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML

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paranoid neighborhood - 27/11/2013 17:51 - United States - Orlando

Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML

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Which side are you on?

thefuckman - - United States

Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise, fresh coffee, and a bleached lawn. My neighbors on both sides have constantly fought with each other since before I even moved in, which I guess explains the note taped to my window saying, "Pick a side." FML

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Creeped out

emoney - - United States

Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML

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Guilty

jamienicole1993 - - United States - Savannah

Today, I woke up to a broken car window and a text from my ex that read, "Before you ask me, the answer is yes." FML

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Myriam - 18/06/2012 16:05 - Maldives - Male

Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML

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Cliché for real

fuckinghicks - - United States

Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML

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The ending of Lost explained

Morgan - - United States

Today, I lost my dog. I looked around my neighborhood for hours, and found him under my bed asleep when I got home. FML

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Rewind time

supersmashpika - - United States - Hershey

Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML

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Srs_business 7

Friday 9 November 2012 8:51

He's a damn good ninja then.

Demonfish 14

Friday 9 November 2012 8:52

Of course the police can't find him; he's a ninja!

cherrycokelove 8

Tuesday 10 February 2015 20:13

even the cops are laughing at you ?

twerking_riggs 22

Wednesday 22 April 2015 4:27

ITS NINJA BRIAN. FROM NINJA SEX PARTY.

DarkCvengence 15

Wednesday 9 December 2015 3:50

well I mean he's a ninja for a reason

Scootythedog 17

Saturday 16 July 2016 16:15

What the actual **** did I just read?

sharond23 10

Saturday 9 December 2017 23:25

close your curtains?

jlc82 11

Wednesday 10 January 2024 3:27

ever heard of these magical objects called curtains or blinds? you put these magical objects over windows and they block people that are outside from seeing you.