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Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


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    When you brag a bit too much

    By Lewis - 11/12/2018 00:30

    do not count your chickens before they hatch
    I agree, your life sucks 231
    You deserved it 153
    Share  
    New Year, New Blunders
    Celebrate the New Year with stories of resolutions broken in less than 24 hours and memorable New Year's Eves... for all the wrong reasons! More…
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    Top comments

    Phillycheeze 20
    Tuesday 11 December 2018 1:29

    Run Forest...Run!

    1 0

    Comments

    Phillycheeze 20
    Tuesday 11 December 2018 1:29

    Run Forest...Run!

    1 0
    • 1
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    Today, while at work, I really had to pee. Since my break was soon, I decided to hold it as another customer came to my till, but I didn't see she had 3 trolleys full of food. It took ages to scan all of it, and when I left for my break, I had an empty bladder and a wet seat. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 35 808
    You deserved it 7 639
    Today, my OCD boyfriend stopped mid-way through sex just to crack all ten of his knuckles after accidentally cracking one. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 32 490
    You deserved it 4 900
    Today, I recently participated in a play and my mom asked for the video, so I said that someone should be sending it soon. My dad said, "It's OK, she doesn't have friends, she hasn't had one since childhood, that's why she doesn't have the video." I do in fact have friends, and the video had been sent already but I forgot to check. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 709
    You deserved it 126
    Today, I went to an ATM to see how much money I had in my account. I put the card in. It never gave it back. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 48 987
    You deserved it 4 131
    Today, my housemate picked me up from the psychiatric ward, after I'd spent ten days there with a major depressive episode. She said that she thought it rather odd that I'd gotten so bad, since she'd replaced my antidepressants with homeopathic pills. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 617
    You deserved it 103
    Today, I decided to surprise my husband by bringing home a case of beer and renting us a porno. He decided to surprise me by telling me he was leaving me for his pregnant girlfriend. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 59 239
    You deserved it 4 350
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