Neighbours, Noise and Kids: Welcome to the neighborhood

Welcome to the neighborhood

By Username - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, the couple with three noisy toddlers in the apartment above mine finally moved out. A couple with a non-stop crying newborn moved in. FML

agreeclassic 29 566

vote type 1 3 241

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Bright idea

By theropod - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at 2 in the morning, a noisy work crew started up in the parking lot next to my apartment. What were they doing at that ungodly hour? Installing a light that now shines right into my window. FML

agreeclassic 33 082

vote type 1 2 175

By justsomesummer - 26/01/2016 18:09 - United States - Beaverton

Today, I got a new babysitting job. Every time the little girl goes to the bathroom, she screams and cries until I wipe her. She's 7 years old. FML

agreeclassic 21 936

vote type 1 1 668

Leave me alone!

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I found myself sneaking into my apartment to avoid the old lady who lives next to me. Funnily enough, I moved into my own apartment because I was tired of sneaking into it to avoid my mom, who lived with me. FML

agreeclassic 13 752

vote type 1 1 893

Night time entertainment

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I woke up next to my roommate staring in horror. She said I was singing and farting in my sleep. Loudly. FML

agreeclassic 3 306

vote type 1 438

Secret

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's one year old. FML

agreeclassic 38 085

vote type 1 2 897

By Ohwhy - 27/10/2012 11:53 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML

agreeclassic 24 503

vote type 1 2 090

Which side are you on?

By thefuckman - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise, fresh coffee, and a bleached lawn. My neighbors on both sides have constantly fought with each other since before I even moved in, which I guess explains the note taped to my window saying, "Pick a side." FML

agreeclassic 23 975

vote type 1 1 723

Self report

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was with my 3 year-old son in the doctor's office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML

agreeclassic 42 729

vote type 1 8 777

Judgemental

By ugly - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my sister told me not to come over anymore because her baby is scared of my face. FML

agreeclassic 42 434

vote type 1 4 544

Record breakers

By fatmom - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Royal Tunbridge Wells

Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML

agreeclassic 45 611

vote type 1 21 593

qm4life 0

Friday 17 February 2012 8:47

Awww... Soon to be a toddler... Here we go again! FYL

LosAngelesSon 8

Friday 17 February 2012 8:55

Stop complaining, you could be the couple with a non stop crying baby.

Comments

kkupka90 5

Monday 20 October 2014 20:10

I know your pain :/

daidax_238 26

Sunday 30 October 2016 5:37

Just 18 more years...

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, at a pool party, I had forgotten to bring a swim suit, so I went in in my bra and shorts. After everyone screaming and telling me to put my shirt back on, I asked, "Why? It's the same as a bikini." My best friend told me it was because no one wanted to see me topless. FML

agreeclassic 1 757

vote type 1 478

Today, my boss put me on suspension, a week after granting a subordinate time off to recover from surgery. When I signed the paperwork, I was too embarrassed to admit I didn't understand her writing, which apparently said she was getting treated for "dangerously low levels of dick". FML

agreeclassic 11 417

vote type 1 25 156

Today, I'm officially fat enough I have to lift my belly out of the way to get to my zipper when I need to pee in public toilets. I hate myself. FML

agreeclassic 779

vote type 1 560

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

agreeclassic 38 691

vote type 1 7 155

Today, one of my kids thought it would be funny to superglue me to my armchair while I was asleep, except they’re idiots who used way too much. I am now fused to the cushions and had to call an ambulance. FML

agreeclassic 835

vote type 1 153

Today, my husband rejected sleeping with me because he wants to "save his energy" for building his custom car. Apparently, I'm a "distraction." FML

agreeclassic 48 190

vote type 1 6 388

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