Weird and Health: Weird flex, but OK

Weird flex, but OK

By Anon - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I actually took pleasure in sniffing my armpits after two days of not showering. FML

agreeclassic 9 356

vote type 1 42 219

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

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Satisfaction

By thacupcakeassassin - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Shippensburg

Today, I woke up from the most satisfying dream I've ever experienced. Sex related? Nah. I just needed two hands to pull a massive booger from my left nostril. FML

agreeclassic 12 079

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The smell test

By sosadstudent - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML

agreeclassic 35 115

vote type 1 4 468

Deez nuts

By needtoscratch - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Duluth

Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML

agreeclassic 24 394

vote type 1 1 846

Stinky pits

By shakinmahbuttbutt - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML

agreeclassic 52 878

vote type 1 4 573

Caturday surprise!

By keeperstride - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

agreeclassic 17 828

vote type 1 72 211

Naughty girl

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took the dog for a 45 minute walk/jog. She sniffed everything on the ground like she always does. She marked her territory twice, then we finally got home. As soon as I took her off the leash inside, she ran to the kitchen and took a dump right on the kitchen mat. FML

agreeclassic 30 073

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Glade

By stinkystinky - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, after cleaning the whole house, I still couldn't get rid of the foul smell. Later, my roommate revealed his new place to "stash and dry" his socks: The ventilation ducts. FML

agreeclassic 13 954

vote type 1 968

Rash decision

By FilthyIke - 21/08/2009 20:17 - Canada

Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the rash I've been getting in my underarms, behind my knees and sometimes on my face. Turns out I'm allergic to sweat. I'm a varsity rugby coach, gym teacher, and I just shelled out a stack of cash to get a sauna and steam room installed in my house. FML

agreeclassic 47 778

vote type 1 4 388

The struggle

By lizi - this FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Saint Andrews

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML

agreeclassic 4 066

vote type 1 846

New fragrance just dropped

By lavenderpiss - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Australia - North Adelaide

Today, I used my vaporiser to make my house smell like lavender while I went to work. My brother thought it would be funny to pee inside it. My whole house now smells like pissy lavender. FML

agreeclassic 43 502

vote type 1 4 036

pancakerocks 1

Thursday 12 January 2012 18:55

intresting. i take joy in smelling myself after i shower

krustacea 1

Thursday 12 January 2012 18:53

I've done that.

Comments

tantantheman 0

Saturday 14 January 2012 8:12

Ur gross dude.

graciegirl247 0

Saturday 14 January 2012 19:28

This makes me uncomfortable...

maloneyf89 0

Saturday 14 January 2012 19:57

Who hasn't done that?

willo17 0

Sunday 15 January 2012 0:33

;) we've all been there!

mojjo21 4

Sunday 15 January 2012 1:35

DEGREE FTW

kaitisgrait 0

Wednesday 18 January 2012 7:35

I think we've all been there, and anyone who says they haven't is lying!

amanook 0

Thursday 26 January 2012 8:04

y wouldnt u shower for 2 days anyway??

EmDizzle2007 28

Monday 30 January 2012 9:58

I do that from time to time. I tend to smell like my ex

gardianlh24 0

Tuesday 31 January 2012 6:59

Pheromones. Nuff said

randomstudios 0

Sunday 12 February 2012 0:28

Some men just want to watch the world burn

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Top

Today, while coming home from school on my bike, I lost control of it, and went straight into a light pole. Thankfully I was at a very low speed. After that, someone splashed puddle of water at me with their car. After getting to home, I went to take a bath during which the shampoo went into my left eye. It's still hurting. FML

agreeclassic 643

vote type 1 157

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

agreeclassic 22 454

vote type 1 51 305

Today, I was leading a wheelchair fundraiser to raise money to make public areas wheelchair accessible. I had several guest speakers, all of which were confined to wheelchairs. About ten minutes after the fundraiser was supposed to begin, I realized that the stage was wheelchair incompatible. FML

agreeclassic 17 130

vote type 1 77 667

Today, my boyfriend and I were out for dinner. We were talking over the noise of the restaurant, when suddenly it got quiet as he shouted, “I can’t wait to fuck you!” FML

agreeclassic 1 208

vote type 1 336

Today, I have been with my boyfriend for about 9 months. I still can't work up the courage to tell him I love him. I've been bursting to tell him for 4 months, but for some reason I can never seem to get the words out. FML

agreeclassic 781

vote type 1 411

Today, a guy rang my doorbell, yelled "Happy Halloween" and then threw a bunch of leaves that he'd lit on fire at me. FML

agreeclassic 34 012

vote type 1 2 771

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