Wake Up Call By FML Approved - 07/10/2017 03:00 The most frustrating sound ever. I agree, your life sucks 465 You deserved it 89 Share Tweet Share
Today, after waking up in a panic since I slept through my alarm, I hurriedly got ready and started speeding to work. On the way, I texted my boss to apologize for running late. His response? "It's Saturday." FML I agree, your life sucks 1 512 You deserved it 713
Today, despite the fact of learning I'm now over 300 pounds, causing a major blow to my self-esteem, I tried to be sexy and asked my husband if he wanted a blowjob. Unfortunately, he's trying out new mental meds and they've killed his sex drive. FML I agree, your life sucks 991 You deserved it 560
Today, I wanted to look really good for my date. I was a little self-conscious, so I decided to use Nair on my upper lip just in case I had a female mustache. Unfortunately, it turns out I'm allergic to Nair. Now I DO have a mustache. A rash mustache. FML I agree, your life sucks 47 018 You deserved it 16 622
Today, I had sex with my wife only to be told that the sex was horrible and to be given divorce papers. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 319 You deserved it 334
Today, I went to Victoria's Secret to buy a bra. A woman sized me and then gave me a bra to try on in the fitting room. To my pleasure, it seemed to fit well. The woman who had sized me came in to check on me and replied, "Yeah, it happens. Not everyone can be symmetrical." FML I agree, your life sucks 30 016 You deserved it 2 761
Today, it's my 25th birthday and all of the friends who promised they could come had excuses why they couldn't make it. Now I'm at the bar, alone. FML I agree, your life sucks 23 475 You deserved it 1 559
This is usually followed by the "plotting their demise knowing that you will never actually act on it" phase.