Intimacy Today, trying to be romantic, I started coming on to my wife... - FML

(-__- ) ( ^.^) - 11/10/2013 21:00 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, trying to be romantic, I started coming on to my wife while in bed, only for her to yet again say she wasn't in the mood. When I asked why she never is lately, she sarcastically blamed it on the government shutdown, then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

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Women's Day: Equality and Laughter
Stories that celebrate women in a light-hearted and humorous way, because equality can also be a source of joy! …

Replaced by a clanker

stop masturbating woman - 10/02/2026 15:00

Today, for the third time this week, I came home to my wife asleep in bed, her pants down, and her vibrator in her hand. She keeps refusing sex because she "isn't in the mood" and insists there's nothing wrong. To rub salt in the wound, I bought her the vibrator as a gift, hoping to spice things up. FML

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Username - 18/03/2010 08:21 - France

Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML

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Bored

Taylor parsons - 29/10/2010 04:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML

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Anonymous - 27/07/2016 20:32

Today, when the power went out, my wife said it was too bad we couldn't have sex by candlelight since she had just started her period. The only time she brings up sex is when we can't do it. FML

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Don't you want me baby?

Ugh - 05/12/2024 21:00 - Romania

Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML

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Waste of time

I'mmessedup - 29/09/2021 22:59

Today, after weeks of every excuse not to, my wife wanted sex. It was amazing, and she had at least 3 orgasms. Instead of cuddling afterwards, she got up like someone kicked her and started bitching about all the things she could have been doing, as she got dressed and stormed out. FML

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ahddib - 14/10/2010 02:13 - United States

Today, I started making love to my wife as soon as the kids were occupied. She just laid there the whole time and never responded, except for a few times to say "Ouch." FML

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Tease

Blue balls forever - 20/10/2025 20:00

Today, my fiancee told me she felt horny and was excited for bed, then got mad when I seemed indifferent. I'd be more interested if she didn't constantly wind me up by talking about sex, then get cold feet the second we're alone. FML

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So frustrating!

Marvin-jones - 02/03/2023 02:00

Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML

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Who1s269 - 03/05/2013 12:13 - United States

Today, my wife told me that getting in the mood to have sex with me is like trying to get in the mood to hit the treadmill. FML

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logic368 8

Saturday 12 October 2013 2:08

Man, errbody gettin cockblocked by the government...

raininginseattle 9

Saturday 12 October 2013 2:43

Congrats #2. You must be getting screwed by the government instead.

mesahus 5

Sunday 13 October 2013 18:28

I guessed you wife just vetoed your bill

YeahYeahYeahOK 6

Sunday 13 October 2013 23:00

**** Obama instead. He needs from all of us...

DerpCarlos 8

Monday 14 October 2013 2:17

Thanks Obama!

Rodux16 9

Monday 14 October 2013 5:13

Another thing ruined by the government shutdown

alexxxxxxxx_fml 6

Monday 14 October 2013 8:41

Hate that. I've experienced it before. Worst feeling ever. You feel like she doesnt love you the the way she used to.

lionhardt13 10

Monday 14 October 2013 14:50

maybe start the romance earlier?

ShenaniganNinja 20

Monday 14 October 2013 18:18

Women are more likely to be "in the mood" in the morning hours. It's when their hormones are at their peak.

HellboundAlleee 4

Monday 14 October 2013 18:46

I have a feeling that I'm a sexist shit.

Alysharayner 2

Monday 14 October 2013 20:13

oh no. sounds like you Guys really need to talk

AKAR2521 4

Tuesday 15 October 2013 2:20

sometimes the mood isnt there

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I told my husband that I was going to get a swimsuit from the Victoria's Secret catalog. He replied, "Are you going to get the body to go with it?" FML

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Today, my mother called me and told me that she went to the hospital. This wasn't a surprise 'cos she normally goes to the hospital for the smallest things. I was a smartass and asked, "What now? You finally have lung cancer from all those cigarettes?" Apparently, she does. FML

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Today, I shared the story of my younger brother's unexpected death with a friend. After telling him the story, I looked at him with teary eyes and he looked back into my eyes and said "I understand how you feel. That is almost as bad as when I lost my cat last spring term." FML

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Today, I was giving a friend a ride to a party and I followed Google Maps blindly. After 25 minutes of driving, we pulled into a cemetery. The GPS cheerfully announced, “You’ve arrived at your destination.” I suppose it is in a way, but we didn't plan on being early to THAT party. FML

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Today, I went with my girlfriend to her parents' house. They told me I smelled of cheap vodka. When I told them I worked in a bio lab and used ethanol a lot, they said I was too stupid to do anything like that. My girlfriend broke up with me because her parents think I'm a drunk. FML

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Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML

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