Miscellaneous: Today, my friend said that my sneeze "sounds like a turtle humping...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Cold Warrior - 28/04/2016 15:02 - United States

Today, my friend said that my sneeze "sounds like a turtle humping a shoe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 28

Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
Discover romantic anecdotes with a touch of awkwardness - because nothing expresses love better than a little discomfort! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

missadell 17

Friday 29 April 2016 3:37

ah....that's a great video. It's on YouTube, look it up and you'll understand XD

Symphoniaes 32

Friday 29 April 2016 5:25

But that's a really cute noise! It's not a bad thing to be compared to :P

Comments

missadell 17

Friday 29 April 2016 3:37

ah....that's a great video. It's on YouTube, look it up and you'll understand XD

Jakuri 12

Friday 29 April 2016 4:53

That...is an oddly specific comparison.

Symphoniaes 32

Friday 29 April 2016 5:25

But that's a really cute noise! It's not a bad thing to be compared to :P

Canadian0622 17

Friday 29 April 2016 7:14

I usually never sneeze out loud and I hold them in. I tired to this time and it didn't really work, but I'm glad I could at least make them laugh.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I wore my first thong, which I bought weeks ago but was only just now brave enough to wear. As I was leaving, my little brother decided I really needed a wedgie. The thong garrotted my bum hole and I now have toilet paper up there because it won't stop bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 059

You deserved it 522

Today, I fell asleep in the car on a 10+ hour trip with my family as soon as we got on the highway. When I woke up an hour later, I realized I'd had a wet dream. I had to sit next to my grandma with semen all over my thighs and boxers for the rest of the trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 229

You deserved it 11 925

Today, I have the flu, so I called my boss to let him know I couldn't come in today. He told me to think my "lies" through better, and claimed that you can only get the flu during winter. So I guess I'm faking my pale skin, short breath, runny nose, and constant sneezing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 517

You deserved it 1 974

Today, I took my girlfriend out bowling. The place was not only packed, but on my very first attempt, I stumbled and landed flat on my "sugarbuns" about 6 feet down the lane. Everyone pointed and laughed hysterically, including my girlfriend, who was on the floor almost in tears, enjoying my pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 098

You deserved it 9 645

Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm Dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 033

You deserved it 9 505

Today, I got on the train with my bike, leaning it up against the wall. After a while, it began to slide down the wall and wobble, so I dashed out to catch it. As I ran for it, I slipped and crashed into it, knocking it into an old man and busting the rear brake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 320

You deserved it 4 932