Transportation: Today, my friend decided to jump out of a moving car. I had to...

By dmanrique - 04/10/2011 15:10 - United States

Today, my friend decided to jump out of a moving car. I had to explain to the nice old lady who stopped that my friend who was convulsing on the ground wasn't on drugs, he's just really stupid. FML

agreeclassic 30 472

vote type 1 3 223

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By anonymous - 28/12/2010 18:03 - Canada

Today, while driving home from basketball practice, I noticed an old lady struggling to get up from a fall. I stopped to help her up and make sure she was fine, and in the meantime, a teenager decided to hop into my car and crash it into a telephone pole and run away. FML

agreeclassic 36 116

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Don't drugs and drive

By Anonymous - 03/01/2022 13:59

Today, a friend of mine borrowed my car, drove it on drugs, fell asleep at the wheel, and smashed it. Don’t worry though, he’s fine, but my car was described as a “write off”. FML

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Gross, dude!

By Anonymous - 27/05/2010 02:30 - United States

Today, I picked up my 3 friends from a party. One of them drank too much and claimed she needed to throw up. I pulled over multiple times so she could. It didn't happen until we were right in front of her house and still inside my car. FML

agreeclassic 29 420

vote type 1 3 183

By Harejordan - 04/02/2009 16:44 - United States

Today, I was driving and stopped behind a person at a stop sign. Their car didn't move for about 1 minute. I got out of my car yelling at the person. It was an old woman. She wasn't breathing. FML

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vote type 1 36 456

By Misterhippo - 02/09/2009 00:04 - United States

Today, my best friend thought it would be funny push me off my bike. He thought it was even funnier when the paramedic accidentally dropped me. FML

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Prank culture has gone too far

By qhorin halflung - 22/07/2015 17:35

Today, on the bus, my blood sugar level got too low and I passed out. When I came to, the woman next to me was hitting me, saying she needed to get off and that she didn't have time for my, "stupid fucking prank." FML

agreeclassic 31 509

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Funny how?

By funnyguyNOT - 05/04/2009 21:39 - United States

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

agreeclassic 24 319

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By Nemesis2747 - 24/12/2009 06:09 - United States

Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML

agreeclassic 39 839

vote type 1 3 326

By Anonymous - 11/02/2016 01:15 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, one of my friends made it to school. He has been sick recently, missing days out of the week. When I saw him, I greeted him with, "Were you dying yesterday?" Apparently he wasn't, but his grandmother really did. FML

agreeclassic 19 420

vote type 1 4 335

With friends like these…

By marz88 - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

agreeclassic 40 109

vote type 1 7 254

cheesenuggrt 5

Tuesday 4 October 2011 18:53

Get new friends?

NoNotTheFace 8

Tuesday 4 October 2011 18:57

Quick, while he's still on the ground, kick him in the nuts, hard. Boobs like him should never reproduce.

Comments

ALEXLASFLA 0

Wednesday 5 October 2011 2:18

now I wanna try that now

BD_Swingin 0

Wednesday 5 October 2011 3:52

Damn kids jumping out of cars and such..

alival 12

Wednesday 5 October 2011 4:06

R u suuure he's not on drugs? U never know what people do behind closed doors!

SexySheWolf 0

Wednesday 5 October 2011 4:30

haha not to be mean but hes a dumbass

yankfan89 27

Wednesday 5 October 2011 4:32

This is why child locks are on car doors

j_cat187 19

Wednesday 5 October 2011 4:56

Wtf all I did was tell him that I was the devil.

j_cat187 19

Wednesday 5 October 2011 5:10

You are the worst babysitter ever. You should of tackled him and tried to calm him down.

afulks78 11

Wednesday 5 October 2011 5:53

Your a good friend :)

dora2297 0

Wednesday 5 October 2011 8:15

Haa that would of hurt lol and god love that old lady lol

lazerus1974 8

Wednesday 5 October 2011 14:05

Put your boyfriend down, keep the dog.

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Today, I received a call from my husband of 10 years from prison. He sobbed on the phone as he explained to me that his anger got the best of him, and couldn’t control himself. He beat the pulp out of a classmate of his for declining a date with him, and sent her to the hospital. FML

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agreeclassic 27 281

vote type 1 1 581