Kids: Today, my five-year-old daughters realized that if one of them...

By TiredMum - 16/10/2013 13:33 - United States - Vancouver

Today, my five-year-old daughters realized that if one of them rang the doorbell, it would keep me distracted long enough for the other one to steal cookies from the kitchen. FML

agreeclassic 52 140

vote type 1 7 109

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By Anonymous - 26/10/2012 16:17 - Philippines - Makati

Today, I realized that my five-year-old daughters are deranged psychopaths, when one of them started screaming to get my attention while the other pulled the car door shut on my fingers. FML

agreeclassic 26 405

vote type 1 3 366

By I hate children - 18/08/2014 12:10 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, two children decided it would be fun to try to ding-dong-ditch me. I never answered the door as I saw them running away. They did it a couple of times before getting bored. That's when they decided it would be fun to come into my house instead. FML

agreeclassic 46 207

vote type 1 5 172

Masters of mischief

By Anonymous - 18/07/2024 16:00 - United States - Salem

Today, my 4-year-old twin sons discovered how to lock doors. They locked me out of the house while I was taking out the trash. I had to climb through the kitchen window, which they'd generously smeared with peanut butter. FML

agreeclassic 445

vote type 1 156

Goals!

By faitesdesgosses - 19/05/2014 14:27 - France - Mantes-la-ville

Today, I asked my 7-year-old daughter what job she would like to have when she grows up. She calmly replied that she wouldn't have one; she'd just bring her husband round to my place and steal food from me. FML

agreeclassic 48 206

vote type 1 7 137

By nosestealer - 07/07/2013 21:57 - Canada - Brampton

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

agreeclassic 58 491

vote type 1 9 876

By Anonymous - 19/02/2010 20:36 - United States

Today, I discovered that when business is slow at my family-owned store, my daughter and another employee make a habit of sneaking away to the back room. I have literally been paying this kid to screw around with my daughter. FML

agreeclassic 35 471

vote type 1 5 213

By ScaredDad - 02/05/2019 12:00

Today, I needed to grab something from the garage. As soon as the door closed, I heard a little click sound. My one-year-old seems to have figured out the door lock. FML

agreeclassic 1 879

vote type 1 259

Back to square one

By Anonymous - 05/05/2009 03:39 - United States

Today, I was babysitting for my neighbors. Their 5 year-old had finally fallen asleep at 11 after two hours of stories and songs. No sooner had I tiptoed out of the room did I realize that my phone had dropped out of my pocket onto the bed. It was ringing. It was their mother checking in. FML

agreeclassic 47 251

vote type 1 7 737

By pigtails - 16/01/2013 12:21 - United Kingdom - Thetford

Today, management told me that I couldn't have a doorbell on my door. How did they get my attention to tell me this? By ringing my doorbell. FML

agreeclassic 31 429

vote type 1 3 243

By emergencyroom - 15/03/2014 12:21 - United States - Parkton

Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML

agreeclassic 51 482

vote type 1 9 399

BellaBear90 27

Wednesday 16 October 2013 18:49

Smart cookies :)

pam241 15

Wednesday 16 October 2013 18:49

Genius kids you got there

Comments

marcelin01 4

Thursday 17 October 2013 21:35

thats smart

ChicKenza 4

Friday 18 October 2013 7:54

So cute

omgitsmawh 6

Friday 18 October 2013 16:56

they are soo smart lol i would do that too

amisenho 11

Friday 18 October 2013 19:14

Clever girls...

AddleBoy 4

Friday 18 October 2013 19:45

Teamwork!

Kylienne 5

Saturday 19 October 2013 14:39

You should be proud, but don't let them know that.

chupee7 2

Sunday 20 October 2013 19:23

We may be looking at a 21st century albert einstien!

kittysundae 8

Sunday 20 October 2013 23:03

I admire your kids creativity now if only that worked with iphones

shiney100893 15

Monday 21 October 2013 1:37

On the brightside OP they sound like smart little kids. Wouldn't be too worried if that's the worst they get up to :)

someguy314159265 15

Saturday 16 November 2013 19:03

Your kids are probably going to start a powerful criminal organization when they grow up...

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Today, due to an incident with the dishwasher, a coat rack and my bathrobe, I ended up locked out of my house, naked as a jaybird. I had to hide in the backyard for several hours until my family got home from their various activities to get back in. They still haven't stopped laughing at me. FML

agreeclassic 5 196

vote type 1 1 121

Today, it's been the tenth restaurant meal in a row that my husband has to ruin with Instagram, in the belief that anyone cares. FML

agreeclassic 40 937

vote type 1 5 097

Today, my car is being repaired, so I had to catch a bus to work. When the bus came, the driver pulled toward the curb and gunned it through a large puddle of water, then pulled away and continued down the road, leaving me soaking wet. FML

agreeclassic 24 047

vote type 1 1 576

Today, I was telling my brother about how my new colleagues and I don't share a sense of humour. He replied, "What, you mean they don't pretend to laugh at your jokes like everybody else?" FML

agreeclassic 37 944

vote type 1 6 018

Today, I rushed out of the bathroom with toothpaste smeared all over my chin and cheek. I was so anxious about going on a date that I didn’t realize this until said date pointed it out halfway through dinner. FML

agreeclassic 177

vote type 1 410

Today, I was taking a final test online that would account for 65% of my final grade, for which I'd worked extremely hard. I had one submission for the test, and my roommate thought it would be funny to click the "Submit All" Button while I was getting a glass of water. I got a 13%. FML

agreeclassic 45 261

vote type 1 3 507

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Masters of mischief

Goals!

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