Love: Today, my constant bragging to friends caught up with me, and...

By Anonymous - 23/07/2011 23:53 - United States

Today, my constant bragging to friends caught up with me, and everyone believes I'm a swinger. Because of this, no girl wants to go out with me, in case they become just another notch under my belt. The truth is, I'm still a virgin. FML

agreeclassic 11 953

vote type 1 99 385

The rhythm of the fight
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By Brook - 26/02/2013 08:21 - Australia - Sydney

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Today, I realized that I'm at the age that whenever I mention a friend of the opposite gender, my family's first response is asking whether that friend is single. I've already accepted no one will want a pathetic freak like me, so their poking around what few friends I have makes it awkward. FML

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By likesboys - 19/05/2010 12:00 - Canada

Today, my entire family thinks I'm a lesbian. I'm straight. I'm embarrassed and don't know how to tell them that I've been single for so long because I can't get a guy. FML

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By uhoh.. - 22/03/2015 19:51 - Canada - Nanaimo

Today, a girl was making fun of me for being a virgin and, "never seeing a nipple". I have three. FML

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Liars, the lot of them

By Anonymous - 24/01/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, I learned that every podcast bro is a fucking liar and a vile hypocrite. Men seem to like me, but the minute I tell them I’m a virgin and saving myself for marriage, suddenly they’re gone faster than a spooked horse. What happened to the low/no body count, huh boys?! FML

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The truth will set you free

By Imnotfromhere - 29/08/2021 23:01

Today, I told my mom I was with my female friend last night, because I wasn't ready to tell her about my new boyfriend. I didn't realize he gave me a hickey and now my whole family thinks I'm a lesbian. They won't stop making fun of me. FML

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By Anonymous - 03/08/2012 22:50 - Mexico - Villahermosa

Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street, who accused me of sleeping with her husband. I still don't know who she or her husband are, and I'm still a virgin. FML

agreeclassic 32 065

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By Anonymous - 17/06/2013 05:54 - United States

Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML

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By Just_do_it_17 - 09/05/2011 04:03 - United States

Today, after being out of the closet for over three years, I learned that some of my friends still don't believe me that I am really a lesbian. They still think I made the whole thing up because I can't get a man. FML

agreeclassic 41 038

vote type 1 8 074

lovelikewoe 0

Sunday 24 July 2011 2:27

well, it's obviously your fault because you constantly lied.

cheesenuggrt 5

Sunday 24 July 2011 2:27

YDI for lying. Also I'm a cocksucker.

Comments

streethearts 0

Monday 25 July 2011 13:58

the truth is your an idiot. chicks love swingers, your just a liar with no game.

DawnMarie11 0

Monday 25 July 2011 17:15

well I can't say I feel sorry for you op! you created this problem for yourself. ydi

coltclay 0

Monday 25 July 2011 17:35

Ayy I got that same problem bro, except pretty much every girl still wants me.. so sucks for you. just find a ****!

Haaaley147 0

Monday 25 July 2011 17:43

thats totally your fault

taaazzy 1

Monday 25 July 2011 21:39

how old are u??

Calyx_fml 21

Monday 25 July 2011 22:13

Find the school ****.

lilbeast01 2

Tuesday 26 July 2011 14:23

Sucks to be you bro. Ima man hoe and I still get alot.

MatthewHass 4

Wednesday 27 July 2011 18:48

dork

maddy23a 5

Friday 29 July 2011 6:07

ahh karma, thou are a heartless bit**

Xemogirl666X 0

Friday 29 July 2011 19:45

i seen this on someones profile pic

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Today, the person I was driving behind put their car in reverse and backed straight into me. I was then yelled at and told, "I had my reversing lights on! Why didn't you move?!" FML

agreeclassic 24 327

vote type 1 1 781

Today, I texted my ex boyfriend that I still loved him. He texted back asking if this was some sort of booty call. FML

agreeclassic 12 598

vote type 1 33 810

Today, my grandfather was counting all the grandchildren he had and saying how fortunate he was to have all of us. When I pointed out that he'd forgotten to count me, he turned and said, "You're adopted, you don't count as a real grandchild." FML

agreeclassic 93 316

vote type 1 4 535

Today, the person recently hired to work in my spot during my days off started at a higher hourly rate than me, after I have been here for nearly three years. I asked for a raise and got a dollar more; meanwhile, my regional counterparts make 4 dollars more per hour. FML

agreeclassic 884

vote type 1 178

Today, while at work for a dog groomer, I picked up a new puppy that came in for a groom. I held it up at face level with me, baby talking it, when it promptly began peeing. Luckily, it didn't get on my clothes. Unluckily, it got onto my face and into my mouth. FML

agreeclassic 5 767

vote type 1 2 034

Today, I discovered the crunching noise your foot will make if you accidentally drop a cement block on it. FML

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vote type 1 3 028