Animals: Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed...

By Noname - 12/03/2009 22:08 - United States

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

agreeclassic 150 440

vote type 1 22 977

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Smelly cat, smelly cat…

By Kas - 25/11/2020 11:02

Today, my cat decided the perfect place to throw up was on herself. Cleaning a smelly old cat with a showerhead is trouble enough, but when she tried to escape, it resulted in the bathroom being turned into one big puddle. FML

agreeclassic 787

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By Stupidhuman - 13/04/2017 13:02 - United States - Sparta

Today, I noticed my cat was about to vomit on the rug and yelled at her to move. She spooked and managed to throw up while running. I still had to clean up the rug. FML

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Stomach bug?

By Heather Scurfield - 21/03/2021 10:59

Today, I was going to be sick, so I ran to the bathroom. When I got there, I fainted, and fell back against the wall. When I came around, I immediately vomited all down my body, in my hair, and all over the floor. My cat judged me. FML

agreeclassic 1 025

vote type 1 143

By Anonymous - 04/05/2009 12:37 - Canada

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me because he loves toilets. Everyone was sleeping so I went pee but didnt flush. My cat jumped onto the seat and fell in. I had to lift him out and then wash him. He hates water though, so I was scratched by my cat who was dripping with my own pee. FML

agreeclassic 45 026

vote type 1 28 872

Not now!

By Adam - 16/03/2010 20:51 - United States

Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML

agreeclassic 37 355

vote type 1 5 190

Wake up Boo

By Megan Snair - 01/09/2019 04:01

Today, my cat threw up on the floor while I was taking a nap. I woke up, still groggy from the nap, and walked over to the bathroom. Not only did I slip on the vomit, spreading it all over the floor and myself, I think I somehow broke a toe in the process. FML

agreeclassic 1 581

vote type 1 209

Book it!

By Kiera Ayala - 08/06/2019 12:00

Today, I got into bed as my cat crept under it. I then heard him gagging, so I instantly got back up to get him out, because my floor is carpeted. As I pulled him into the hall, he flew upwards, made a horrific "Blagh!" sound, projectile vomited everywhere, then hit the wall and ran. FML

agreeclassic 1 618

vote type 1 324

By MoncaBang - 29/01/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML

agreeclassic 33 697

vote type 1 3 457

The gift

By Anonymous - 15/12/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML

agreeclassic 508

vote type 1 178

Time to go to the vet

By Pooped - 08/09/2023 01:00 - United States

Today, my cat is extremely sick and has trouble grooming himself. As evidenced by his butt. He laid on me for a while and it wasn't until a few minutes after he got off that I realized he had stained my pants. That also explains why my chair suddenly looks so nasty, and why my room smells horrible. FML

agreeclassic 554

vote type 1 261

ancientmudkipz 0

Friday 13 March 2009 1:08

i lol'd

Bubs_fml 0

Friday 13 March 2009 1:18

Eh, cats just tend to vomit at inopportune times. Don't sweat it. It's just like how dogs only seem to hump things when you have company over.

Comments

crazygeorgiaboy 6

Saturday 20 December 2014 6:00

lol bless u maybe it was unrelated to you.

trumpy 9

Tuesday 12 January 2016 1:22

gotta work on that self esteem...your cat definitely didnt barf because of your appearance

meatyfan53 1

Wednesday 4 May 2016 23:16

DAMNN u must be hella nasty

KrazyKatz3 26

Sunday 27 August 2017 23:29

If you don't want the cat to judge your naked body leave it outside...

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Today, I called my mum, crying because of my low self-esteem. She interrupted my sobs by saying, "Can I hang up now? The phone's getting hot." FML

agreeclassic 25 122

vote type 1 6 060

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

agreeclassic 69 073

vote type 1 5 996

Today, at Walmart, a woman kept screaming at her husband for the most ridiculous reasons. My friend snickered that she must be on her period, prompting her to whirl around, storm over, and slap the hell out of me, thinking I was the one who said it. FML

agreeclassic 56 113

vote type 1 4 453

Today, during my online class, I was answering my professor's question when my older sister slammed open the door to loudly say, "WHAT'S UP CHICKEN FUCKER?" My class heard. I hate online school. FML

agreeclassic 1 038

vote type 1 128

Today, my daughter is such a bitch that when her husband texted to say he’d be 30 minutes late after work, she rang him to yell at him. He got so upset, he decided not to come home at all and booked a hotel, which was awkward for everyone waiting to surprise him with a birthday party. FML

agreeclassic 660

vote type 1 168

Today, I got my nails done at a salon where everyone working there was Vietnamese. During my manicure, the manicurists talked about how ugly I was in their native tongue. They couldn't have known that I'd lived in Vietnam and I'm fluent in Vietnamese, but too chickenshit to speak up. FML

agreeclassic 2 326

vote type 1 663