Love: Today, I woke up to a phone with most of my female contacts missing.... - FML

By FunGhoost - 20/02/2015 13:35 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I woke up to a phone with most of my female contacts missing. I think I'm dating a psycho. FML

agreeclassic 37 440

vote type 1 5 274

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Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML

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By u wot? - 14/02/2015 12:14 - United Kingdom - Ipswich

Today, I found out someone, most likely my psycho ex, has been posing as me on local interest websites, trolling a load of people, and giving them my address so they can come fight me. I found this out when a gentleman showed up at my house wanting to beat me shitless. FML

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By DCarreon - 04/10/2012 07:13 - United States - Ceres

Today, my seemingly normal girlfriend decided to erase every girl's name out of my phone. Family and all. FML

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By alissa_roar - 18/04/2011 17:54 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of two years told me I was being too obsessive. This is the guy who has gone through my phone two separate times and deleted all of my male contacts. FML

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By badwife - 07/11/2009 10:22 - Japan

Today, my husband left his phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being very curious, I called "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML

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Next

TOP COMMENTS

bethrh 49

Friday 20 February 2015 16:51

Get out while you can

LizetteBerenice 22

Friday 20 February 2015 16:51

You are.

Comments

roverman89 3

Monday 23 February 2015 6:36

And you're still with her? Idiot

catanita 18

Monday 23 February 2015 7:48

Next.....

coppertop709 2

Monday 23 February 2015 20:45

RUN!!!

bigmann6000 6

Tuesday 24 February 2015 4:58

No you're just dating a girl...

thes7274473 19

Wednesday 25 February 2015 6:40

Run! Just run!

aliciagentry 8

Thursday 26 February 2015 9:17

I think the situation needs more explanation...

dark_angel4121 12

Friday 27 February 2015 22:34

"Think"? Honey you ARE dating a psycho. Dump her ASAP!

itsrosiexp 10

Sunday 1 March 2015 7:18

Run ???

MCyHiM 10

Saturday 7 March 2015 17:49

I think that if anything, this girl has major insecurities and instead of breaking up with her, you need to communicate with her. No relationship is ever going to get anywhere if you give up.

jared76_fml 11

Saturday 16 May 2015 20:36

Or maybe you can't be trusted bitch

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agreeclassic 786

vote type 1 105

Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML

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Today, while working, a woman complained that she didn't ask for sauce on her sandwich. After examining the sandwich, I realized it was just melted cheese. When I told her, she threw the sandwich at me. FML

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Today, I found out that whenever a mistake is made at my work, my boss assumes that it was me, unless indicated otherwise, but he has never said anything to me about it because of my 'learning disorder'. I don't have a learning disorder. FML

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Today, I was at work, cleaning up a construction site. I picked up a beer can and accidentally spilled some of it on me. My boss came in to check on me and thought I was drunk. Instead of getting a raise, I was fired. FML

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Today, I woke up when the guy I had spent the night with slid out of bed. When he realized I was awake, he looked down at me, shook his head, and said "I've gotta lay off the beer..." FML

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