Animals: Today, I washed my hands and reached for the towel but felt...

By rb - 01/05/2011 06:02 - United States

Today, I washed my hands and reached for the towel but felt something sticky. It was a house centipede. It exploded. FML

agreeclassic 35 784

vote type 1 3 587

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By SpideyFace - 19/03/2011 01:36 - Canada

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By dre_bro11 - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML

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By yuckspider - 20/04/2009 00:17 - United States

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Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

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By Anonymous - 04/07/2021 13:59

Today, I was taking a shower when I noticed the huge spider above my head. Now, being the smart person I am, I sprayed the water up at it, causing it to fall. Right on my face. FML

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By Karmas3itch - 12/05/2009 04:19 - United States

Today, I was taking a bath and needed shampoo. I leaned on the soap holder to get some and it came off the wall. Huge ants started pouring out running up the walls, down the walls, EVERYWHERE. I ran out of the bathroom screaming, completely naked. FML

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IntoTheClouds 42

Sunday 1 May 2011 16:15

Looks like you were in a bit of a sticky situation.

ECMchase 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 16:16

Suicide bomber centipede.

Comments

Cmliedtke 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 17:39

Awww... NOW you have to wash your hands all over again... your life is truly ******.. still waiting on a "who cares" button =/

mk58 31

Sunday 1 May 2011 17:43

Yum!!

ReynshineCutting 10

Sunday 1 May 2011 17:53

Are you sure it was a centipede and not a millipede? They are two totally different things. They're not even in the same class.

nlr 9

Sunday 1 May 2011 17:56

hahahahahahahahahaha! at least it wasn't alive.... I mean you could have killed it...

Metal_Girl74 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 18:16

LOL thats awesome

tr3vst3r 5

Sunday 1 May 2011 18:24

gross, fyl

tr3vst3r 5

Sunday 1 May 2011 18:24

gross, fyl

bigbadtim 7

Sunday 1 May 2011 18:25

Did it bug you?

vistamar 3

Sunday 1 May 2011 18:44

*Robotic womans voice* "Self destruct sequence initiated."

girlygeekdom 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 18:53

I freak out just seeing those suckers. Touching them? No thanks.

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Today, a man came up to me asking for my name. Thinking he was trying to hit on me, I rudely gave him a fake name. He thanked me and walked away. I continued to watch him leaving until I saw him ask another woman for her name and took out a wallet and showed it to her. It was my lost wallet. FML

agreeclassic 8 848

vote type 1 64 727

Today, I was signing with my deaf brother at a local McDonald's. We were having a laugh about a game we played last night when this morbidly obese woman waddled over to us. She was utterly convinced we were "talking shit" about her and made a scene about our "hand gestures." Seriously? FML

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Today, my girlfriend thought that a few candles in our room would create a cozy and romantic atmosphere. Especially the one on the bookshelf. That candle damaged only one book - it was signed by my great professor, who's long gone. She doesn't understand why I can't just buy a new copy and deal with it. FML

agreeclassic 648

vote type 1 120