Kids: Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled,...

By Anonymous - 25/07/2012 10:54 - United States - Murrieta

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

agreeclassic 31 568

vote type 1 13 837

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By Anonymous - 16/10/2012 01:19 - United States - Evansville

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

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By Anonymous - 14/04/2012 02:06 - France

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

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By Anonymous - 30/05/2021 11:00

Today, my son had a screaming meltdown because I told him to clean his own room and that I refuse to be treated like his personal maid. He’s 16. FML

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By independant - 08/11/2018 08:30 - United States - Corvallis

Today, my son turned 18. He now calls me by my first name instead of "dad" and refuses to stop. FML

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By Anonymous - 08/04/2024 17:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I cleaned my 21 year-old son's bedroom from top to bottom. When he got home from work all he could do was complain that the clothes that were on his "floordrobe"’ were "only worn once." This was my only day off, so why do I bother? FML

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By oldmama728 - 28/04/2011 11:07

Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML

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By Anonymous - 02/08/2013 15:29 - United States - Denver

Today, I turned 17. My parents completely forgot it was my birthday, and when I reminded them, my dad thought it was my 18th. He was ecstatic and mentioned that I can "finally get the hell out." FML

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By Anonymous - 29/08/2025 14:00 - United States - Newport News

Today, my wife asked our 17 year-old son to clean his room. Following up, he lied to his mom and said it was clean. After rechecking his room, he began to throw things and I returned to find holes punched in the walls. I went and patched the holes, after which he immediately kicked more holes. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/07/2014 22:14 - United States - Bronx

Today, I visited my dad. He gave the, "You live under my roof, you follow my rules" lecture since I didn't do my "chores". I moved out 3 years ago. FML

agreeclassic 43 549

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By CollegeBound - 17/08/2012 19:55 - United States - Tully

Today, at age eighteen, I finished moving out of my parents' house and into my own. The only person to even remotely give a shit was my sister, and that was only because I was taking the cat with me. FML

agreeclassic 24 273

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stephanyk2 7

Wednesday 25 July 2012 18:55

Your son sounds awesome.

luckylea24 7

Wednesday 25 July 2012 18:56

You didn't give him a sock did you?

Comments

emoshadow47 9

Thursday 26 July 2012 5:40

This guy truly is amazing. He's a real american :)

Dead_Bunny213 5

Thursday 26 July 2012 5:51

He's 18, he is free. Haha

ladypnk85 2

Thursday 26 July 2012 5:52

OP has no sense of humor

Squeaky_Tomato 14

Thursday 26 July 2012 6:13

Since he is free I suppose you don't have to buy him clothes or food or pay for his car or any of that.

LovelyGirl9 0

Thursday 26 July 2012 6:15

But did you give him an article of clothing? If not then Dobby is not yet a free elf.

supworld 3

Thursday 26 July 2012 6:18

Your son is amazing. Dobby is amazing.

EternalHatred 3

Thursday 26 July 2012 6:36

I want to be your son's best friend. XD

musicluvr2000 11

Thursday 26 July 2012 6:38

Harry potter for ever!

missyfiona89 28

Thursday 26 July 2012 6:53

Learn to take a joke?

maximesmiles 1

Thursday 26 July 2012 6:54

How is that an fml? It's awesome!

rockerlove2013 6

Friday 27 July 2012 1:46

#237 I agree with you ppl suck and they always will

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agreeclassic 813

vote type 1 144

Today, I found out my father has been saving money to help me buy my first car. In the same conversation, I found out my mother, unbeknownst to my dad, used nearly all of the money to bail my drunken, deadbeat uncle out of jail for the fourth time a month ago. He's now back in prison. FML

agreeclassic 12 948

vote type 1 781

Today, my husband yawned in the middle of our wedding vows. FML

agreeclassic 37 499

vote type 1 7 169

Today, I found an ad for my job at my company on an online job board. FML

agreeclassic 30 025

vote type 1 2 216

Today, every "entry level" job in my field is now requiring 2-5 years experience. I don't think they understand what "entry level" actually means. FML

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vote type 1 3 378

Today, a really cute guy sat across from me on the bus. He smiled at me, then tensed his muscles and lifted a heavy bag with one arm. Thinking he was trying to act "macho" to impress me, I rolled my eyes and threw him an annoyed/disgusted look. When he got off, I realized he only had one arm. FML

agreeclassic 11 197

vote type 1 83 832