Love: Today, I thought it would be cute to put on a Santa hat and ask...

By Anonymous - 29/11/2014 16:28 - United States - Portland

Today, I thought it would be cute to put on a Santa hat and ask my crush what he wanted for Christmas. He said "A girlfriend." I took off my Santa hat and yelled "Ta-da!" He added, "An ATTRACTIVE girlfriend." FML

agreeclassic 44 446

vote type 1 5 764

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

By Marou - 25/12/2008 01:54 - France

Today, I sent a text message to a guy I like, saying, "Dear Santa, I want to fall in love." He replied: "Wait for next Christmas..." FML

agreeclassic 25 361

vote type 1 11 125

By perenoel - 03/12/2011 16:24 - France

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

agreeclassic 62 050

vote type 1 6 158

Nice dude

By ThroatSlasher - 17/08/2015 19:20 - United Kingdom - Grimsby

Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He's smart, attractive, and has a steady job. Imagine my surprise when he accepted. Then imagine my surprise when he followed up with, "Hah, just kidding. You're fucking BORING!" FML

agreeclassic 27 020

vote type 1 2 463

By Brunette, small breasts - 24/07/2016 18:51 - Romania - Campina

Today, I decided to finally talk to my crush. I said, "Hello" to which he replied, "First, dye your hair blonde and grow some boobs, then we can talk business." FML

agreeclassic 19 054

vote type 1 1 412

By JG - 10/05/2012 11:48 - United States - Melbourne

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to announce to the class that I finally got a girlfriend. I received a standing ovation. FML

agreeclassic 29 425

vote type 1 4 215

By Anonymous - 28/11/2009 22:23 - United States

Today, I felt fairly depressed about being single for the holidays during work. This cute girl came to my register asking about our sales ad. After telling her we had no copies, she asked for my number. I shouted: "Finally, someone wants to go out with me." She wanted the store's number to call. FML

agreeclassic 13 130

vote type 1 49 674

Life ain't a movie, son

By Effwmn - 20/12/2022 09:00

Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams, the girl I've loved for 3 years. I went to her desk and surprised her with roses, chocolates, and played “All I Want for Christmas is You.” She said no. On top of that, she ate all the chocolates. FML

agreeclassic 403

vote type 1 1 311

By Anonymous - 26/01/2014 00:33 - United States - Durham

Today, I told my friend I would pay him to ask out the ugliest girl he knew. He asked out my girlfriend. FML

agreeclassic 26 949

vote type 1 52 985

By TheAngryBird - 28/06/2012 04:51 - Canada - Grimsby

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a graduation gift: a new boyfriend. FML

agreeclassic 29 433

vote type 1 2 722

By C45 - 25/12/2009 20:27 - Canada

Today, from my girlfriend of five years, I got my clothes back, my engagment ring and a card that says, "Merry Christmas! It's me not you." FML

agreeclassic 35 607

vote type 1 2 597

MidnightRain3 16

Saturday 29 November 2014 21:36

Ouch. Lol

hannah_cheers 30

Saturday 29 November 2014 21:37

If he cares more about looks than personality, he isn't worth it, OP. Find someone who will find you beautiful no matter what.

Comments

Mikepwnes 2

Saturday 29 November 2014 21:40

May I be the first to say, that was smooth as ****.

RoboCunnilingus 23

Saturday 29 November 2014 22:06

You may not.

austinsonic 6

Saturday 29 November 2014 21:40

No offense, but, that guy kinda sounds like a douchebag.

IamHercules 24

Saturday 29 November 2014 21:41

What a dick

Classy_Sassy_15 15

Saturday 29 November 2014 21:41

Wow that really sucks time to find a new crush

makp_x 7

Saturday 29 November 2014 21:42

Hahaha ouch.

YoursAlways98 13

Saturday 29 November 2014 21:48

What a dick I'm so sorry OP

Sweet_Visions 13

Saturday 29 November 2014 21:55

Damn that must've hurt...

XBurytheCastleX 25

Saturday 29 November 2014 22:01

You're a genius, and he's a prick. Thanks for posting this though, it's a great idea and I would like to try it out on someone.

heyitsbae 13

Saturday 29 November 2014 22:03

Omg I was on moderation and I hit the green button on this. I contributed to this feature. YAS!

d2theave1904 6

Saturday 29 November 2014 22:04

daaaaaaammmmmnnnnnn!!!!!!!!

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I started at my new job. My manager, upon meeting me, hugged me and sniffed my neck, then commented that I smelled "natural" and told me how much he loves that. I have to work with this creep until god knows when. FML

agreeclassic 41 904

vote type 1 3 912

Today, it was the first time my fiancé and I have been able to have sex in the daytime for ages. We have 2 kids under 2 who take up most of our time, so when we had the opportunity, we grabbed a condom and pounced. Everything was going well until he pulled out… and left the condom inside. Now we can’t find it. FML

agreeclassic 1 497

vote type 1 221

Today, my thoughts that I'm going crazy were confirmed when I got into the shower with my socks on. The worst part is that I didn't realize it for a good five minutes. FML

agreeclassic 23 316

vote type 1 5 489

Today, my 5-year-old daughter said "Mommy, why doesn't anyone wanna marry you?" I've been asking myself the same question for all too many years. FML

agreeclassic 20 973

vote type 1 1 980

Today, I found out my upstairs neighbor is a drummer. He's actually quite good, so I didn't have the heart to report a noise complaint. That is, until he screamed Ringo Starr's infamous line, "I got blisters on my fingers!" at the top of his lungs after playing them too long. I would have laughed if it wasn't 2AM. FML

agreeclassic 902

vote type 1 120

Today, after several months of warning my sister to stop drinking so many energy drinks, she is now in the hospital with potentially life-threatening heart problems. Now I have the worry that my sister will meet an early grave to add to my list of things that give me anxiety. FML

agreeclassic 950

vote type 1 185

Similar FMLs

Nice dude

Life ain't a movie, son

TOP COMMENTS

Comments