Health: Today, I slipped in my own vomit while dashing to the bathroom...

By kunjac0945 - 14/09/2015 05:21 - United States - New York

Today, I slipped in my own vomit while dashing to the bathroom to puke. My knee hit and shattered the toilet; the toilet shattered my knee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 684

You deserved it 2 359

kunjac0945 tells us more.

kunjac0945 21

Monday 14 September 2015 16:46

OP here. For clarity's sake, this actually happened to me several years ago, on the first day of my summer break. I had to spend the rest of break, as well as my birthday in a cast.

New Year, New Blunders
Celebrate the New Year with stories of resolutions broken in less than 24 hours and memorable New Year's Eves... for all the wrong reasons! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

fakenibba 23

Monday 14 September 2015 14:31

I wonder which will be more expensive to fix :0

Arrow26 4

Monday 14 September 2015 14:30

Talk about a slip-up.

Comments

c_wyld 21

Monday 14 September 2015 21:50

Eye for an eye

CommonSenseGuy 2

Monday 14 September 2015 22:17

Caution on wet floors.

WOTAN1488 24

Monday 14 September 2015 22:47

*wasted*

remometol 16

Monday 14 September 2015 23:06

Win-win situation

Geek_Freak 13

Tuesday 15 September 2015 0:09

Feel better...?

IAmMe204 25

Tuesday 15 September 2015 1:09

Every action creates an equal reaction.

Bono363 11

Tuesday 15 September 2015 2:44

Toilet: 1 Human: 1

bortego10 7

Tuesday 15 September 2015 7:42

that was a hell of a poem.

xluciferx666 21

Tuesday 15 September 2015 8:28

You can now say "I used to be an adventurer until I took a toilet to the knee"

nrwl_30 17

Tuesday 15 September 2015 8:32

When it rains... It pours..

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I told my ex I was going to bed after a few drinks, and she ended up fucking my brother while I was asleep. What an awakening to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 228

You deserved it 185

Today, and for the fifth week in a row, my dad has been moping around and acting pissy about everything because his psycho girlfriend won't talk to him. He now claims his life is over. I'm being raised by a teenage girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 521

You deserved it 2 973

Today, I tried to blow my girlfriend's vegan parents minds by cooking them a tofu stir-fry. Being allergic to tofu but wanting to prove my cooking skills, I wore gloves and avoided touching my face. Somehow, I still managed to get it in my eye, causing an allergic reaction that made my face swell up like a balloon. Now her parents think I'm some sort of Martian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 448

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 644

You deserved it 35 950

Today, after six months of eating a better diet and exercising every other day, I can now say that I am physically healthier, but the lifestyle changes have done absolutely nothing to help my depression. That was the whole reason I started doing this in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 996

You deserved it 128

Today, my daughter finally walked down the aisle with a man she loves very much. While I was escorting her, I managed to trip and fall down revealing what I've been trying to hide all of this time: my shiny gleaming bald head that showed when my wig fell off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 058

You deserved it 12 974