Animals: Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead...

By ItHurtsLIkeHell - 01/03/2010 09:13 - Malaysia

Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML

agreeclassic 11 924

vote type 1 43 093

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By Roselyn Cazares - 23/07/2017 19:55

Today, I was petting my female hamster when I felt a big mass under her. I immediately thought it was a tumor so I poked it to see if it hurt her. It didn't. Turns out my female hamster is actually a male, and he has really big balls. I touched my hamster's balls. FML

agreeclassic 4 166

vote type 1 1 940

By whymommywhy - 21/04/2009 03:11 - United States

Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML

agreeclassic 57 300

vote type 1 26 980

By zac545 - 19/02/2009 06:14 - United States

Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML

agreeclassic 53 961

vote type 1 11 247

By roze198765 - 04/08/2011 01:19 - United States

Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML

agreeclassic 45 890

vote type 1 4 392

By EpicFail - 04/02/2009 23:29 - United States

Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML

agreeclassic 40 790

vote type 1 16 013

Poor little guy

By Anonymous - 04/03/2021 14:01

Today, I showed my family my new pet hamster. At the sight of him, my grandmother, who I had no idea hated rodents, let out a loud screech, causing my usually docile hamster to bite me and piss in my cupped hand. FML

agreeclassic 946

vote type 1 175

So…

By Anonymous - 29/03/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, my sister brought her class hamster home from school. Somehow it escaped from its cage, and ran into my room. My boyfriend, thinking it was a mouse, stomped on it. I'm stuck cleaning hamster guts from my carpet, and have to explain to a kindergarten class what happened to their pet. FML

agreeclassic 58 777

vote type 1 7 632

By deadhamster - 03/02/2012 18:29 - United States

Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML

agreeclassic 42 460

vote type 1 5 057

By Anonymous - 22/10/2011 06:10 - United States

Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with his hamster. After a while of silence, my boyfriend came over and put his fingers next to my face. Trying to be cute, I stuck his fingers in my mouth and sucked on them. Turns out he was trying to show me how bad hamster pee smells. FML

agreeclassic 19 622

vote type 1 53 660

By HttpsHaileyy - 15/06/2015 20:02 - United States

Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML

agreeclassic 27 805

vote type 1 9 596

RedTriceratops 0

Monday 1 March 2010 16:05

But I don't have testicles.

cabbitt 0

Monday 1 March 2010 16:07

I hope you learned to look where you sit.

Comments

jewann123 10

Wednesday 6 November 2013 21:53

hahaha i'm a cretin

Ghost_Flash777 3

Wednesday 2 April 2014 16:00

They can be very feisty

gingerface81 16

Tuesday 3 June 2014 6:41

That would be my reaction if someone sat on me

fantasyworld 37

Wednesday 29 April 2015 2:31

Wouldn't the pain be better than the hamster dying?

MrsDovahkiin 14

Friday 11 December 2015 22:43

*LeardED

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Today, my dad is freaking out because he thinks he's next on the list of targets the NYC CEO shooter has. Not because he himself is a healthcare-ruining CEO, but he's a pharmacist who gets death threats every week from patients he can't give medication to, due to insurance companies denying everything. FML

agreeclassic 598

vote type 1 93

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Why? My Australian friend sent me a message saying I'd left my thongs at his house. My boyfriend still refuses to believe that they call flip-flops thongs in Australia. FML

agreeclassic 2 076

vote type 1 586

Today, a manager was credited for coming up with a safety idea. This is the same idea I brought up weeks prior and was told it was silly by said manager. FML

agreeclassic 532

vote type 1 72

Today, I met the girl who dumped me because the distance between us was too great. We're in the same city again. She's now dating a Marine in Iraq. FML

agreeclassic 33 145

vote type 1 2 827

Today, I said something in class and someone mimicked me. In a self-pitying mood, I exclaimed, "Everybody hates me!" The girl behind me then said, "Pretty much." FML

agreeclassic 22 542

vote type 1 47 937

Today, as I was walking home, three burly men suddenly began to approach me. Thinking they were going to mug me, I reached for my pocketknife and said, "Stay away, I have a knife." Turns out they just wanted directions to an ice cream shop for their daughters, who were now bawling their eyes out. FML

agreeclassic 14 060

vote type 1 55 303

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Poor little guy

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