Intimacy Today, I learned that what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay...

NeverDrinkingAgain - 09/12/2010 12:31 - Canada

Today, I learned that what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas. This includes my one night stand who turned up outside my front door with a suitcase in her hand. FML

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Carnival of Disasters
Dive into carnival, where hilarious costumes meet unexpected mishaps. Laughter is guaranteed, mask or no mask! …

anonomous - 07/02/2011 19:51 - United States

Today, it looks like I may have an STD. My fiancé and his friends went to Vegas two months ago. He says he's been completely faithful. They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Turns out that's not quite true. FML

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openmouthinsertfoot - 07/12/2010 17:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to leave my one-night stand in my flat because I was giving a guest lecture at the local university. Halfway through, I hear someone sneaking in so I jokingly asked if they had a 'wild night out.' It was the guy I slept with. FML

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so_screwed - 25/09/2013 06:59 - United States - Salinas

Today, my one-night stand decided he wanted to meet my parents. FML

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heartbroke - 03/11/2012 10:02 - United States - Erie

Today, my girlfriend did the walk of shame in a skimpy Halloween costume after a night of drunken sex. Problem? The walk ended at my doorstep, and the sex was with a stranger. FML

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Are you serious?

ummno - - United States

Today, I was awakened in the middle of the night by a frantic banging on my front door. It was a guy whom I'd only been dating a few weeks, with a suitcase. He stated that his wife kicked him out for having an affair, and thought now would be a good time to move in together. FML

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Attraction

Chelsea - 02/04/2012 17:31 - United States

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

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Caught in 4K

Frank S. - 17/06/2021 19:59

Today, I was about to enter a hotel with a friend-with-benefits. We then saw her boyfriend exiting the same hotel with another woman. FML

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Breaking news

Katrina - 13/02/2011 22:32 - United States

Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML

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eric4 - 23/05/2013 20:11 - United Kingdom - Cheltenham

Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When my expensive watch and the contents of my wallet turned up missing in the aftermath, his only comment was, "Shit happens, bro." FML

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Surprise!

Anonymous - 28/03/2009 19:42 - United States

Today, I came home a few days early from a 3-month business trip. As I opened my apartment door, hoping to surprise my girlfriend, the man she's apparently been cheating on me with promptly punched me in the face. He thought I was a burglar. FML

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H00K_M 8

Thursday 9 December 2010 16:12

You forgot to say she's pregnant.

meganasoarus 0

Thursday 9 December 2010 16:18

isn't anyone wondering why he gave her his address?

jwu87 4

Wednesday 6 July 2011 6:35

sorry man

Arch27 27

Tuesday 9 August 2011 16:30

Stalker? Or did you share way too much info?

tamoodielovesmar 1

Tuesday 6 September 2011 6:37

Turns out it wasnt a one night stand after all!

Playboy420 0

Thursday 12 April 2012 10:23

Hyde? Is that you?

Jaricko00001 1

Saturday 16 June 2012 2:28

Well don't have one night stands

giggitygoo12 7

Thursday 20 September 2012 2:21

Nooooooooooooooooo DERP!!!!

hiwazup_24 4

Saturday 14 September 2013 17:11

I saw this fml on YouTube

iceking53 8

Sunday 6 July 2014 19:20

I'm curious what state you live in

fantasyworld 37

Saturday 3 January 2015 21:38

I want to know how she got your address.

Tripartita 44

Friday 23 October 2015 5:30

Remember, she's more scared of you than you are of her. Just puff up your chest and roar until she leaves.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I had to make up a boyfriend to stop my lesbian roommate coming onto me. FML

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Today, I was laughingly informed that I'm an overachiever, by my doctor who thinks I have more health conditions than anyone my age should have. Guess who was just diagnosed with another? FML

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Today, while I was working at McDonald’s, a customer ordered the Shamrock Shake. I told him that due to supply chain issues, it was sold out. He threw a tantrum, then blamed all of us for, “Putting Sleepy Joe in office.” He stormed out, yelling, “Let’s go Brandon.” I don’t get paid enough for this. FML

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Today, my boss announced he will be taking bereavement leave due to his father passing away. For some reason I’ll never understand, I got the urge to laugh. I tried so hard to hold it in but it was very obvious. If looks could kill, I wouldn’t be able to write this. FML

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Today, my son nearly burned the house down with a lighter and an aerosol. His excuse? He was killing a massive spider carrying an egg sack. My wife hates spiders so she refuses to punish him and gave him £20. But sure, dear old Dad will spend money replacing the wallpaper and curtains, no problem. FML

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Today, I decided to surprise my parents who I haven’t seen in a while. They weren’t home, but I still have a key so I let myself in. When I went to my old room to put down my bags, I was greeted by a sex swing. FML

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