Miscellaneous: Today, I installed motion sensor lights in my house to save on...

By zzarzzur - 29/12/2015 09:49 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I installed motion sensor lights in my house to save on energy. When I laid down in bed, I saw the lights turn on from downstairs to the kitchen. I live alone. FML

agreeclassic 24 850

vote type 1 1 870

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By Anonymous - 09/01/2017 23:42

Today, I was the last to go upstairs, so I had to turn off the lights. My tired brain decided to use my phone flashlight to check if all the lights were out. FML

agreeclassic 5 090

vote type 1 1 207

Brain fart

By jonjon - 13/06/2010 13:16 - United States

Today, after spending the evening with friends, I went home and realized that the living room light was on. Thinking someone was robbing me, I hid behind a bush. I got impatient and crept up to the door. Then I remembered that I'd left the light on before I left. FML

agreeclassic 8 965

vote type 1 47 339

By anonymous - 22/10/2014 02:11 - United States - Levittown

Today, I fell asleep on the couch. My parents didn't wake me up, went to bed and set our burglar alarm. If I trip a motion sensor, a siren will go off. The motion sensor in my living room is pointed directly at me and I have to pee. It's been 2 hours. FML

agreeclassic 36 498

vote type 1 4 437

By someone - 23/07/2011 08:50 - United States

Today, I'm staying in a hotel where the lights are automatic. They turn on when something moves and turn off when everything is still. I'm a sensitive sleeper and I move in my sleep, so the light wakes me up. It's currently 2 a.m. and all together I've gotten about 20 minutes of sleep. FML

agreeclassic 35 566

vote type 1 4 458

I'm done

By Anonymous - 09/03/2025 20:00 - Canada

Today, I was using a public restroom when the lights suddenly turned off. Panicking, I waved my arms around, trying to trigger the motion sensor, but nothing happened. I had to finish in the dark, and as I was leaving, the janitor noticed me, turned the lights back on, and said, “Yeah, I turned those off earlier to save power. Hope you were OK in there.” FML

agreeclassic 447

vote type 1 93

By Anonymous - 10/05/2012 06:25 - United States - Bedford

Today, my neighbors got a motion sensor light that points at my window. It's so sensitive that it goes off every time an insect flies past. FML

agreeclassic 24 995

vote type 1 1 924

By Anonymous - 03/01/2010 16:35 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the lights off. It was 1AM and I'd just finished watching a scary movie so I was a little paranoid. I was about to fall asleep when an eerie light lit the room. I jumped, got tangled in the sheets, and hit my head against the bed frame. Where'd the light come from? Not a space ship. Not someone breaking in. It was my phone. FML

agreeclassic 10 570

vote type 1 29 196

Too late

By Kelly - 09/10/2025 09:00

Today, I stayed late at work to finish a project. The lights are motion-sensor activated, and they turned off while I was in the bathroom. I stumbled out in total darkness and screamed when I saw a shadowy figure. It was the janitor. He screamed too. We both apologized to each other for way too long. FML

agreeclassic 402

vote type 1 97

By wtfisgoingon - 28/04/2013 10:30 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was in the middle of having a shower when I noticed a camera hidden in the corner of the room pointing directly towards the shower which I stood in butt-naked. I live by myself and have recently only moved in. FML

agreeclassic 67 381

vote type 1 3 725

By liynda - 06/05/2011 01:49 - Canada

Today, I knocked on the door of the bathroom to make sure nobody was in there before I walked in. Then I remembered I live alone. FML

agreeclassic 34 084

vote type 1 15 582

RodzillaX 30

Tuesday 29 December 2015 15:30

Demand some rent/utility money. Ain't no ghost living off you for free, especially if they're going to run up the electric bill.

princesskammm 20

Tuesday 29 December 2015 15:28

Apparently you don't...

Comments

sour_dough22 12

Wednesday 30 December 2015 16:27

My dick

wiccked 8

Wednesday 30 December 2015 19:19

cat?

manlytarts 28

Thursday 31 December 2015 0:46

could it be a fly?

blacksoultigerZ 9

Thursday 31 December 2015 4:58

Run fast run far

Nalle9 12

Thursday 31 December 2015 9:20

Well shit... Are you dead?

Zaizun 11

Friday 1 January 2016 2:36

The power of Christ repels you! And my high ass rent.

jettheawesome 7

Saturday 2 January 2016 8:33

Did you make it?

BrandonPosada 10

Saturday 2 January 2016 17:38

Spooky a'f

WP40 12

Monday 4 January 2016 12:55

Good luck surviving the night OP!

PaulieXP 16

Monday 4 January 2016 13:52

Is there some way you can adjust the sensitivity? If they're too sensitive a fly or even a mosquito can set them off

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Today, I realized I am the neighborhood pariah. I have a vaca house on a lake, and every year the neighborhood holds a Friendsgiving Party. I wasn't invited. I only found out it that it happened when I saw the Facebook photos. I have no idea why I was excluded. I must be the world's biggest a-hole. FML

agreeclassic 285

vote type 1 129

Today, I got turned down by my dream job because their rival company happens to be called my exact name. I'm now known as "The Spy". FML

agreeclassic 24 099

vote type 1 1 528

Today, I phoned my bank. The person wouldn't speak to me about my account as I "sound female" despite being a year 30-old-male. They had to get a supervisor and listen to recordings of past calls to believe me. This isn't the first time I've been mistaken for a girl on the phone. FML

agreeclassic 4 067

vote type 1 305

Today, I finally received the last check from my insurance company after my house flooded 10 months ago. Tonight my house flooded again. FML

agreeclassic 51 314

vote type 1 4 304

Today, I went out on a first date. He was funny, laidback, and handsome. We had an amazing time but I declined to go back to his house, not wanting to rush things. He said he understood and respected my choice. Later online he bragged about “banging some cheap slut for the price of a meal.” FML

agreeclassic 804

vote type 1 205

Today, in a drunken, depressed state I thought I heard my deceased mother trying to make contact with me from beyond the grave. It took me a moment to realise that the soft voice was from the music my neighbours were playing. FML

agreeclassic 22 249

vote type 1 6 531

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Brain fart

I'm done

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