Money: Today, I discovered that if you are being mugged, never tell...

By Luke - 07/11/2011 14:53 - United States

Today, I discovered that if you are being mugged, never tell your mugger you are going to call the police because he will come back and steal your phone too. FML

agreeclassic 18 394

vote type 1 36 405

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By Anonymous - 16/09/2014 14:34 - United States - Wallingford

Today, I was mugged. I saw a cop car in the aftermath and flagged it down. Unfortunately, when the cops stopped the mugger, he said he'd been running away because I tried to mug him. Apparently the fact that he was "well-dressed" and I wasn't means he was telling the truth. FML

agreeclassic 45 102

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Great timing

By alo1434 - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML

agreeclassic 44 028

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Stunlocked

By RoyBoy - 26/07/2021 18:01

Today, a stranger asked to borrow my phone since his had died. As he was using it, he kept walking away and I had to chase him because he was walking too far. He turned around, yelled, "Stop following me, asshole!" and punched me, knocking me out cold. When I came to, I realized the fucker stole my phone. FML

agreeclassic 1 032

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By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 16:09 - Guatemala

Today, I got mugged. After taking my cell phone, the guy politely said: "Thanks. Have a nice evening. Be careful on your way home." FML

agreeclassic 38 134

vote type 1 3 181

Leg it

By BobbyHutchinson - 20/10/2009 15:57 - Australia

Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML

agreeclassic 59 975

vote type 1 2 852

By Anonymous - 12/01/2011 04:04 - United States

Today, while going to work, I was mugged. On the way back, I was mugged. FML

agreeclassic 43 622

vote type 1 3 721

By sorrystupid - 02/06/2015 07:42 - United States

Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML

agreeclassic 30 501

vote type 1 5 304

Nice guy to the rescue

By Anonymous - 24/01/2022 01:59

Today, I saved a woman from being mugged, and stayed with her until the police arrived. At which point she ignored me completely, and thanked the handsome 20-something police officer for making her feel safe, like I did nothing. Ungrateful cow. Next time the mugger can have your handbag. FML

agreeclassic 1 367

vote type 1 1 389

Adding annoyance to almost injury

By Anon - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, while I was walking to my car, I was mugged. Not only did they take my phone, wallet and watch, the extra few minutes taken in my journey meant that when I got to my car, I was given a parking ticket. FML

agreeclassic 52 795

vote type 1 2 831

Useless

By Anonymous - 01/05/2025 07:00 - United States - Denver

Today, my place of work was robbed. When expressing worry that the thieves would return, the cops told us, and I quote, "If they come back and attack you, just give us a call back." Fucking stellar, thanks. FML

agreeclassic 432

vote type 1 94

RetardedBullFrog 4

Monday 7 November 2011 18:45

"Imma call the cops !!! . . . when I get home . . ."

tylersign 11

Monday 7 November 2011 18:55

*mugger steals landline*

Comments

zyron7568 0

Monday 7 November 2011 21:52

Next time just ask the guy to slit your throat... It would be a smarter move.

Jewdazking23 5

Tuesday 8 November 2011 0:32

Cool profile pic, sweet cat

False_Stupidity 41

Tuesday 8 November 2011 4:33

What cat? I don't see any pussy in his pic!

bizarre_ftw 21

Tuesday 8 November 2011 4:58

It's in the awesome car. With the guy that owns it.

jimbobpro87 0

Monday 7 November 2011 21:56

smart one dumb one

Relaxter 1

Monday 7 November 2011 22:16

Why did you tell him what you were going do, my advice, Nike: just do it

daydreamer244 13

Monday 7 November 2011 23:12

Dumbass.....

12chris 0

Monday 7 November 2011 23:14

Why didn't you just tell him your social security number to confirm your identity as well?

GraceKathryn97 0

Monday 7 November 2011 23:16

Not very bright are ya?

Person1233 12

Monday 7 November 2011 23:19

Oh baby...

chels1994 11

Monday 7 November 2011 23:27

you basically just offered your cell up

Jewdazking23 5

Monday 7 November 2011 23:31

I'll remember that when I'm being stupid today

brdude 9

Monday 7 November 2011 23:51

You're lucky he didn't try to hit or even kill you, seriously.

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Keywords

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Top

Today, it's my birthday. My father didn't get me a birthday present or do anything for me, and acted as though he only came to visit because it was expected. Yet when it was his birthday a couple months ago, he expected me to take him out and pay for it FML

agreeclassic 2 739

vote type 1 235

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML

agreeclassic 44 690

vote type 1 8 144

Today, I escaped my husband's snoring by going to sleep on our sleeper couch, only to be welcomed by an excited mosquito population, which sounding like, "Happy hour guys, she's on her period, let's suck this eternal source of blood!" I went back next to my husband and I didn't sleep, but at least wasn't being bitten. FML

agreeclassic 835

vote type 1 170

Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML

agreeclassic 26 678

vote type 1 10 391

Today, I was in a store with my dad. He completely lost his temper and began yelling at the store owners. For some reason, he then removed his shirt in protest. FML

agreeclassic 38 463

vote type 1 3 031

Today, my fiancé told me he wants a security guard to come with us on our honeymoon to Hawaii. Apparently, watching Dog the Bounty Hunter has made him feel unsafe. FML

agreeclassic 27 281

vote type 1 2 912