Miscellaneous Shit eating grin

Shit eating grin

lame - 31/12/2009 05:02 - Canada

Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML

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Mouth malfunction

Melanie - 08/02/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I locked eyes with a cute barista and tried to flirt by giving a charming smile. I forgot I had just taken a sip of hot chocolate, so I ended up drooling a long stream of chocolate down my chin. FML

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brenami - 31/12/2010 06:13 - United States

Today, I took my daughter to the grocery store. The bag boy seemed to be flirting with me and smiling. He had to be half my age. Once in the car I glimpsed myself in the rear view mirror. I had chocolate completely covering one of my front teeth. FML

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Nice try

damn... - - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a job conference. At lunch, I saw this stunning guy. At dessert time, I coughed so much that the piece of chocolate cake in my mouth went straight onto his glasses. I think it's too late to introduce myself now. FML

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anonymous - 05/05/2009 14:17 - United States

Today, a hot girl got into the elevator just as I took a bite out of my Three Musketeers bar. I instinctively smiled at her and chocolate drool poured out of my mouth. FML

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Bad liar

pirotess31 - 31/07/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I brought a huge chocolate bar to work, left it in the break room, and came back to find it gone. Later, I saw a coworker with chocolate all over his face and fingers. I asked him if he took it, and he said, in almost offended tone, “What? No, that’s mine.” FML

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foreveralone - 13/01/2014 01:00 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML

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Heavy session last night?

TaintedL0v3 - 11/03/2020 12:30 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I woke up with Chocolate Buttons superglued to my face. FML

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rejected4ever - 14/02/2012 18:29 - United States

Today, for Valentine's Day, my boyfriend gave me the half-eaten chocolate bar that I left in his fridge two weeks ago. FML

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Smooth

firstdategonebad - 12/10/2012 18:43 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML

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Kamburgler - 02/07/2011 06:33 - United States

Today, this really cute guy at work kept flirting with me and cracking the funniest jokes. Before he left, he told me how much he enjoyed making me smile. An hour later, I saw my reflection in a mirror, I had a huge piece of food stuck in my teeth. FML

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null_fml 11

Thursday 31 December 2009 12:06

How does chocolate on your face explain a SUDDEN lack of interest, if it had been there all along?

null_fml 11

Thursday 31 December 2009 12:19

Lol... "Damn! Missed my mouth... whoops! Missed it again!"

joshhh11 0

Thursday 31 December 2009 16:35

anyone can moderat FML's, I clicked no

MadeOfAwesome 1

Thursday 31 December 2009 17:28

I always get chocolate on my face >.< cuz I'll eat a bit of chocolate, then I'll push my hair out of my face with the hand that just held chocolate. Or I'll go to scratch my nose with my chocolate hand. Basically, it's touching your face while you're eating chocolate that causes you to get it on your face, not that you keep missing your mouth -_-

Loveya448 0

Thursday 31 December 2009 17:58

Always check your face and teeth after eating chocolate.

MonkeyTalks 0

Thursday 31 December 2009 18:07

definetly

Ada360 0

Thursday 31 December 2009 18:55

Silly girl SILLY GIRL :p

grimspook76 0

Thursday 31 December 2009 19:47

How to eat a chocolate bar: insert in mouth, chew, and enjoy. Avoid rubbing it all over face.

Triskelopidopali 0

Thursday 31 December 2009 21:44

oh no you got chocolate on your face! your life is so ******! No, YDI because this isn't a real FML

Rebecca1993 0

Thursday 31 December 2009 22:23

I doubt you having chocolate on your face is why he lost interest lol.. That's embarrassing though. Still, yeah I doubt that's why.

doggywoop 0

Friday 1 January 2010 3:56

Wow it serves you right for starting your day off wrong with a chocolate bar!

Splayd 10

Thursday 20 October 2011 22:03

How is that wrong? If it was, say, a snickers, then it had caramel, peanuts and chocolate. Sounds like a moderately healthy snack. Also, if you knew ANYTHING about calorie intake, you would know that you can have 1,500 calories a day without gaining weight, and, in fact, losing weight. It doesn't matter a lot from whence the calories are coming. And, if you are taking vitamin supplements, all the better.

in_wonderland 1

Saturday 2 January 2010 4:16

you deserve it for eating a ******* chocolate bar for breakfast. honestly, i was shocked that you don't live in america with the rest of the obese people.