Love: Scary

Scary

By Anonymous - 22/08/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML

agreeclassic 11 821

vote type 1 31 482

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML

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Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML

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Today, after months of successfully taking strides to boost my long diminished libido, I found out my girlfriend, who always had a healthy sex drive, has now lost hers. Oh, how the tables have turned. FML

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Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML

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By Jack - 30/11/2013 08:31 - United States - Reynoldsburg

Today, I realized my girlfriend has been "on her period" for almost two months. FML

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Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

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Hockeyboy4280 18

Wednesday 22 August 2012 23:43

First ever guy to get excited over those words...

deadxwedding84 5

Wednesday 22 August 2012 23:43

Ouch. Maybe you should dump her?

Comments

xxEternalRain 13

Thursday 3 January 2013 6:40

You deserve it you jackass

rochellecliffe 8

Wednesday 24 July 2013 13:32

Stop leading her on, grow some balls and leave her.

InnocentWings 13

Thursday 15 August 2013 19:43

YDI. Dump her, she's too good for you

Vintage_Cola 29

Monday 24 February 2014 18:54

Is she just that bad in bed or...

Luluthus 41

Friday 14 March 2014 20:48

Then why is she still your girlfriend?

millsjoshua949 12

Tuesday 8 September 2020 4:50

Why is she your girlfriend? ydi

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I learned that in my family, 'Father's Day' is more like 'Father's drunken, piss on a plant in the kitchen during breakfast, order you to scrub in between his toes with your toothbrush Day.' FML

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Today, my ex told me she still misses having sex with me. Her next text was "but it's still over." FML

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Today, I had to hide under my husband silently as he tried to get our 3 year-old son to go play in the living room so we could both finish. Sex is hard when you have kids. FML

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Today, I realised that every morning my girlfriend gets me to help her put on a locket her ex-boyfriend bought her on Valentine's Day. FML

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Today, I broke up with the girl I'd been dating for two months because she started smoking. This is a deal breaker for me. I just found out from her friend that she started smoking for the sole purpose of getting me to break it off and now plans to quit. FML

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Today, I made my friends and family laugh by trying to put on costume glasses with a giant super-sized nose attached to them. They laughed hysterically. Not because of the gigantic nose, but because my real nose was radically bigger and the fake one wouldn't fit over it. FML

agreeclassic 27 529

vote type 1 3 560