Intimacy Messy girls - FML

Messy girls

tLee - 19/07/2011 04:04 - Canada

Today, I was laying in bed making out with a girl. After trying to figure out for a while why she was spending so much time on my neck it finally hit me. She was frantically and secretly trying to remove the gum she got stuck in my hair. She failed. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Time consumed

unendowed - 18/03/2012 02:11 - United States - Katy

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent the next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML

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gjh - 19/01/2009 03:20 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend offered a blow job, but my hair got stuck in her braces so instead we tried to pull them all out. And no, I didn't get any. FML

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Tyler - 19/11/2011 08:05 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML

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Jarryd - 10/02/2012 05:40 - Australia

Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML

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Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

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Tasty

I wish it was gum - 23/10/2018 12:00

Today, I was in the cinema making out with my girlfriend. I asked her if she could stop trying to pass me her gum because it was kinda gross. She replied, "It's not gum, I just have bronchitis." FML

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ydahs - 08/05/2009 21:17 - United States

Today, while in the hot tub with my friends, my gum fell out of my mouth and I had no idea where it went. Later that night I realized it had fallen down my swimsuit and had become adhered to my pubic hairs which then stuck to my underwear. FML

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i fking love docb - 04/11/2012 21:16 - Virgin Islands, U.S. - Christiansted

Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML

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Prinpette - 20/09/2011 21:20 - France

Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML

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omfgnooo - 09/09/2011 23:22 - United States

Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML

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klutzyduck1 24

Tuesday 19 July 2011 12:01

You have to admit this is one of those cute funny moments, I hope you laughed instead of acting pissed. Enjoy it, you can't change it.

nolife77 0

Tuesday 19 July 2011 12:00

aww poor her :( must of been so embarrassing!!!!

Glitterhinoceros 14

Tuesday 19 July 2011 14:37

She could have just left it there, Atleast she tried, Eh?

RMASAM 2

Wednesday 20 July 2011 5:12

Hi, my name is Kyle. New to this site!

Cheungie 0

Tuesday 19 July 2011 14:46

Most important is to have sex

Monkeyone 0

Tuesday 19 July 2011 15:14

WD 40 takes that shit out fast. Also LOL.

Senior29 8

Tuesday 19 July 2011 15:21

y did she have gum in her mouth while makin out? ydi 4 dating an idiot :p

DawnMarie11 0

Tuesday 19 July 2011 15:52

man she must have been mortified!! I would have been......

AmethystRain 20

Tuesday 19 July 2011 15:57

Yikes, I hate to think what's gonna happen the first time she tries for the bj. Hopefully she spits the gum out first.

buckeye08 10

Tuesday 19 July 2011 16:16

Sounds like she was in a sticky situation...

bobbymullet 11

Tuesday 19 July 2011 16:33

^ win.

Cleao18317 11

Tuesday 19 July 2011 16:19

hey at least she cared enough to try and remove it without you noticing

lkrunner101 7

Tuesday 19 July 2011 16:33

don't be to hard on her.. she probs embarrassed!

floresmarquezhah 0

Tuesday 19 July 2011 16:58

could be an FML for her, too.

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML

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Today, I had to hand write a 10 page essay for one of my classes. When I turned it in I got an automatic zero. It was written in blue. Not black. FML

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Today, marks the fourth day in a row that I've worn the same outfit to prove to my parents that they pay me no attention. They still haven't noticed. FML

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Today, I was singing in a terrible voice on purpose during a Zoom call from school, thinking I was on mute. I carried on, until a message saying, "The host has muted you" appeared on my screen. FML

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Today, it's been months since I inherited a nice house, only to discover it overrun with squatters. I had to legally evict them, costing thousands. When they were ordered to vacate, they set the house on fire. Now I have a blackened ruin and depleted savings. FML

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Today, my brother-in-law is super mean and treats me like shit, but carries his wife on a golden platter. I've literally done more for him the past 10+ years of my marriage than his wife of 3 years. I've taken bank loans, packed countless lunches, washed so much laundry, all while his wife doesn't lift a finger for him. FML

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