Death and Animals: Life's a beach

Life's a beach

By squishylog - 12/08/2011 07:44 - United States

Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML

agreeclassic 48 942

vote type 1 7 109

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By LexiBoBexi - 12/07/2010 05:38 - United States

Today, my family and I went to the coast. Our dog was off the leash because we were the only people around. He was delighted to find a dead seal carcass and roll around in its remains. We then had a 3 hour drive home. FML

agreeclassic 30 648

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By Anonymous - 13/08/2011 19:12 - United States

Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML

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By targe - 19/10/2011 09:40 - Australia

Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML

agreeclassic 33 866

vote type 1 3 611

By zzfreakshow - 15/10/2013 00:16 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML

agreeclassic 44 852

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Now you know

By Ouchies - 18/03/2021 17:01

Today, I went to the beach. My friend decided it would be funny to push me into a bunch of Portuguese Man-O-War jellyfish washed up on the shore. Did you know their tentacles can sting even if they’re dead? FML

agreeclassic 1 173

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By poopedon - 26/04/2009 03:10 - Canada

Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML

agreeclassic 50 010

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Close call

By Anonymous - 09/11/2023 06:00 - Canada

Today, I went on a relaxing nature hike to de-stress. I got lost for hours, encountered a bear, and had to play dead, only for the bear to steal my sandwich then sit there for hours before finally leaving. FML

agreeclassic 573

vote type 1 180

By sothisishowidie - 30/09/2013 11:18 - Guam - Yigo

Today, my friends and I spent a little too long enjoying a beautiful cliff overlooking the ocean. We spent the next 3 hours lost in a pitch black jungle with only one pocket-sized flashlight. FML

agreeclassic 38 759

vote type 1 13 006

Nice friends you got there

By Schrewt - 24/01/2010 08:50 - France

Today, my friends and I went camping. In the middle of the night, they carried me deep into the forest and left me there. I stepped on a beehive as I walked back to the tent. FML

agreeclassic 30 670

vote type 1 3 174

He needs them more than you

By cjj325 - 20/03/2009 23:35 - United States

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my best friend. We were on the beach and it was fairly crowded but we got in the water at this really secluded area. While we were swimming I looked up to see a homeless man wearing my clothes, walking away. FML

agreeclassic 62 041

vote type 1 32 542

stevie1359 0

Friday 12 August 2011 16:09

Couldnt you smell it? Lol

swasticop 0

Friday 12 August 2011 16:13

As long as you didn't have sex on it...

Comments

CraZedMadMan 16

Monday 7 April 2014 3:57

NO SIT ON LOG!

awesomecrazyboy 11

Saturday 10 May 2014 6:37

Must have been a fancy log

the_rad_brad47 18

Thursday 9 April 2015 10:21

wertyo1234 3

Sunday 14 February 2016 22:23

I guess that sealed the night

jbuckets_404 38

Wednesday 24 May 2017 21:47

It was an even worse night for the seal....

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Today, I was going to have sex for the first time, but when my girlfriend and I got naked, I couldn't get it up. I eventually got hard but it involved me thinking about the time I accidentally saw my girlfriend's brother naked. I think I may be gay. FML

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Today, I found out my boyfriend cheated on me with his dad's ex-girlfriend. FML

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Today, my girlfriend is giving me the silent treatment and is making me sleep on the couch, all because I said I loved my best female friend. I meant loved like family. She still won’t hear me out. FML

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Today, I learned that when airport security jokes that he's going to eat your box of donuts, you should not then joke back that he shouldn’t "because the powdered sugar is really cocaine". FML

agreeclassic 2 037

vote type 1 5 828

Today, I'm an introvert and told my girlfriend explicitly that all I wanted for my birthday was to sit quietly and read my new Discworld book. She took this to mean invite everyone within 50 miles for a massive party, and afterwards was surprised that I was pissed as hell and not speaking to her. FML

agreeclassic 1 190

vote type 1 275

Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML

agreeclassic 34 738

vote type 1 5 877