Joe Bidet By userrrrr - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing. FML I agree, your life sucks 49 455 You deserved it 3 839 Share Tweet Share
Today, a furious woman stormed into my job, demanding to know why I fired her precious baby boy. I explained that watching porn on the clock is grounds for termination. She screamed that I was lying about him and that she’ll see me in court for slandering him. I had to call the cops to make her leave. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 314 You deserved it 86
Today, I’m dating a petite girl, and I've had fantasies of picking her up and fucking her in midair. I attempted to try this fantasy last night. I'm now in the hospital with broken and bruised ribs and tailbone. FML I agree, your life sucks 406 You deserved it 1 667
Today, I was reminded what poverty is like when I had to choose between buying food and buying pads. Now, I have to take constant bathroom breaks and wipe off my pad. I don't get paid until after my period ends. FML I agree, your life sucks 18 380 You deserved it 1 726
Today, I walked into my new maths class. I stepped inside only to be yelled at by the teacher for nearly 15 minutes. I was then told never to enter her class again and was sent to the principal. My identical twin brother was in her class the period before me. He also has a thing for older women. FML I agree, your life sucks 66 044 You deserved it 3 342
Today, cops showed up at my house looking for an ex neighbor. It would be all cool if before knocking they didn't politely wait in front of my window listening me and my boyfriend having sex for half an hour. FML I agree, your life sucks 34 231 You deserved it 3 389
Today, while licking maple syrup off my wife during foreplay, I probably shouldn't have referred to her breasts as pancakes. FML I agree, your life sucks 4 729 You deserved it 7 334
There's a keeper!
Are you sure she wasn't joking... i mean... come on... who does that?