Weird, Awkward, First Dates Intimacy Ice-breaker - FML

Ice-breaker

bye loser - 20/10/2014 09:28 - Canada - Abbotsford

Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML

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Found it

Anonymous - 01/02/2022 20:01

Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML

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Recognize this?

Anonymous - 06/10/2014 02:42 - United States - Rock Island

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML

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Weird assumption

writer4life - 17/01/2010 05:30 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. While cuddling on the couch, he asked me for a blow job. I refused. He said, "But I thought big girls liked doing that." FML

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Classy

dontask - 01/10/2010 01:55 - United States

Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML

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QC issue

Anonymous - 02/10/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my date was about to go down on me when he burst out laughing. I'd bought some new sexy panties, which apparently had a sticker on them that came off and got stuck to me. It seems my vagina had been examined by employee No.32 for quality control purposes. FML

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WTF dude?

Scarred for life - 04/02/2017 16:00 - United States - Eagle River

Today, I went on a blind date. The first words that came out of his mouth were, "Rape isn't that bad if you think about it." FML

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Anonymous - 20/08/2014 22:14 - Sweden - ?kersberga

Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML

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MIB thingy please... - 05/02/2015 01:21 - United States - Oregon City

Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML

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haggisbowl - 14/01/2012 06:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML

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Picture game

- 01/12/2019 20:00

Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML

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foxwasalamb 24

Monday 20 October 2014 22:12

what the ****..? maybe its a clever way of saying he has a large penis

HappyItalian 38

Monday 20 October 2014 22:16

"Probably not you."

KrispyKreme_92 8

Thursday 23 October 2014 15:13

What is happening to the human race ?

CandyApple88 13

Saturday 25 October 2014 22:08

Ever see the movie "Idiocracy"? ever day, i see more and more 'evidence' that this movie was in fact a documentary about the future.

Kazze 31

Thursday 23 October 2014 20:28

Should have said something scary to freak him out. "What's the biggest thing you've put in your vag?" "A bowling ball."

MyNameIsTim 2

Friday 19 June 2015 1:28

or "our future baby"

CandyApple88 13

Saturday 25 October 2014 22:11

He probably was looking for someone to .... film.... Suggested answer to his question "First you tell me what is the biggest thing you've shoved up your ass?"

Fukkme 8

Sunday 26 October 2014 20:01

No way that happens in canada

Space_Teddy 29

Tuesday 28 October 2014 0:38

Would tell him the same thing I'm gonna stick up your ass if you ever dare to ask me such question again

andersonj219 5

Friday 31 October 2014 17:49

People are messed up lol

trumpet27 1

Thursday 9 February 2017 21:22

Stupid. Sucks.But hilarious

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Jealousy Underwear Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I spent a lot of money buying a birthday gift for a close friend, only to find out I'm not even invited to the party. FML

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Today, I found a love letter in my mail. It was from a girl I met at a bar few weeks ago. I never gave her my address or last name. I guess I have a stalker now. FML

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Today, I've been diagnosed with an incurable condition in both eyes that is making me go blind. I lost my job and had to drop out of my final year in college because of this. Then my ex found out and stole my car since I "won't need it". FML

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Today, my wife and I are about to move across the country when the landlord for our new house called and said a water line busted and flooded the house. The movers are coming tomorrow. FML

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Today, my second roommate in less then a week got a DUI. Both roommates are demanding that I drive them around for free until they get their licenses back, or else they won't have the funds to pay their rent. FML

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Today, my fiancé asked me how soon I wanted him to move out. FML

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