Miscellaneous I'm tired - FML

I'm tired

special-ingredient - 02/08/2009 03:41 - Canada

Today, I came home tired and hungry from work. I put my feet up and sat down with a big bowl of chips and salsa. I thought I must've been really hungry because my regular no-name salsa tasted way better than usual. I looked down to examine the jar. Looks like I like the taste of mold. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Thanks

badeats - 22/06/2009 05:43 - United States

Today, I visited my grandma. She offered me some chips in a Ziploc bag. I thought they were sour cream and onion chips from the look of them. They tasted funny, but I didn't want to be rude and I kept eating. I looked closer after a while and noticed that what I thought were chives was actually mold. FML

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Chillin' with Satan

Anonymous - 06/12/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I sat down on my couch with a nice cool beer after a tough day at work. I tried opening a bag of chips. The bag exploded, covering me in chips and crumbs, turning me into a sticky human nacho. Well, my dog certainly saw me as a snack, and I had to shower and change clothes. So much for relaxing. FML

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Added spice

hungry - 06/04/2009 03:19 - United States

Today, I was hungry and decided to nibble on some Cheez-Its I had in my room. After I'd enjoyed some of them, I looked into the box to see how many I had left, where I noticed a lot of little black moving dots. Apparently I wasn't the only one enjoying the crackers. FML

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Aliya - 01/03/2009 14:14 - United States

Today, I was eating nacho chips with my nieces when I started to feel that some were wet. I look at my niece and notice she was sucking on the chips, and putting them back in the bag. FML

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Magaña.i.am - 16/04/2019 16:00

Today, I was halfway through eating a what I though was a delicious sandwich, when I turned it over and saw nasty green mold on the bread. FML

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MY CHEESE!

Anonymous - 19/11/2024 16:00 - United States - Tuckerton

Today, I went to work. All day, all I wanted to eat was my favorite cheese, which was waiting for me at home. I came home and someone had eaten it, then put the empty wrapper back in the fridge. FML

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garlicbread - 26/11/2009 22:11 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to make myself a nice meal. I bought expensive pasta and sauce etc. It looked delicious, I decided the finishing touch would be some parmesan cheese. I grabbed the bag and threw a handful of cheese on my meal. The cheese was about 98% mould. FML

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Pet peeve

MY CHIPS - 14/04/2025 07:00 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I got home from work to see that not only had my wife opened my bag of potato chips, she'd ripped it all down the side and left it open all day without a clip. Now my chips are stale. She has a whole bag of her favorite flavor, unopened, right next to it. FML

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Haute cuisine

youwouldbeacat - 28/04/2009 02:38 - United States

Today, I was making a nacho and grabbed some refried beans that were in a plastic container out of the fridge and put them on top of the chips. After I’m completely done eating my mom looks in the fridge and asked me if I knew where the cat food was. I just ate a small can of cat food. FML

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- 05/01/2017 11:20

Today, I found out what rotten cooked potato both smells and tastes like. FML

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paprikacha 9

Sunday 2 August 2009 12:21

This is why I always inspect everything before I eat it. FYL, though, because I can understand how unobservant hunger makes you.

fmh123 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 12:07

Mold makes everything taste better

sj_19 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 20:26

how did you not notice the mold when you poured it?

Polygon 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 20:30

mold isnt bad for you, its just a bit unnerving =P

Leaveittosteven 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 20:57

Haha yes, mold makes everything wonderfully zesty.

BreezyPear 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 21:03

Hmm not really an FML, but weird. Did you have to go to the hospital and get your stomach pumped??

jj732 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 21:13

ha i ate mold the other day. i didn't notice till after. now i can't stop throwing up. enjoy that.

sodahhhr 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 21:42

EWTDI for a new carpet

DeadMansCrack 4

Sunday 2 August 2009 22:00

Stop arguing over crap like this. Who cares who comments and where they comment?

tia73 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 22:41

that happened to my brother with Ham once.

insomniac_855 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 22:49

no one looks at expiry dates unless theyre some overly conscious paranoid lol fyl

Hyozanryu 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 23:33

It's probably a little sweeter than usual because of fermentation, nothing to be ashamed of.

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I wanted to surprise my long distance girlfriend by flying to her unannounced. When I arrived at her house, her family tells me that she herself boarded an unannounced flight to where I lived hours ago. Surprise. FML

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Today, after weeks of slaving away, I finally wrapped up the last house project on the backlog. I decided to take a day to relax around the house in celebration. My wife spent all day following me around, moaning that I never go anywhere, and that she never gets any space. FML

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Today, I went to a birthday party. A half hour in, a girl started showing me pictures of her cat. That was the high point of the night. FML

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Today, like every time I visit the in-laws, my father-in-law is driving me crazy. He gets all holier than thou sometimes, and even my mother-in-law agrees he just talks to hear himself speak. It gets so bad that I resort to cleaning their house to ignore him. At least then he leaves me alone. Starting their dishes in 5. FML

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Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

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Today, my phone rang with an unknown number. I answered in my professional “customer service” voice: “Hello, this is Sarah, how may I help you?” It was my mom, who immediately said, “Why are you talking like a robot? Did you get fired again?” I was on speakerphone at the grocery store checkout. FML

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