Haute cuisine mynameissecretlyjeff - - United States Today, my brother put a mac-n-cheese cup in the microwave without any water. My entire house smells like burned cardboard. FML 4 736 448
Today, I was offered a position as a school crossing guard. I have a $200,000 degree in Economics from a top 20 University and was offered a position to hold a stop sign and wear a reflective vest. I was tempted to accept. FML 41 168 7 075
Today, I found out that while on foreign exchange for over six months now, I have been pronouncing the word for "night" in German wrong. Apparently, this whole time, the way that I have been pronouncing it in German means "naked". This explains a lot. FML 20 161 2 817
Today, I woke up, had great sex, had a delicious breakfast, played with my kid and laid down for a nap… only to wake up in extreme pain, an ambulance ride, and now a doctor saying I need emergency surgery on my leaking gallbladder. FML 1 389 103
Today, my own breast milk has caused my sensitive skin to break out into a rash all over my chest. FML 3 886 262
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML 33 516 3 680
Today, I was asked to crawl through a sunroof because one of my coworkers locked her keys in her car. After I got the keys, instead of opening the car door, I climbed back out through the sunroof. To laughter. FML 8 421 42 468
I had a friend who's little brother put 2 minute noodles in the microwave without any water. Apparently they had to get a new one afterwards.
Happens to the best of us OP hehehe