Sex, Painful and Intimacy: Great idea

Great idea

By anonymous - 22/03/2012 04:46 - United States - Chelsea

Today, my boyfriend went down on me with whiskey in his mouth. It felt like my genitals were on fire. FML

agreeclassic 30 925

vote type 1 6 946

End-of-year festivities: New Year's Eve fun and frolics
End the year on a high note with anecdotes where every New Year's Eve firecracker is synonymous with laughter! More…

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Bernie

By Anonymous - 27/11/2017 06:00

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. It would have been great, if a mate of his didn't tell him to put Listerine strips in his mouth first "for the tingle." I've been running cold water over my burning genitals for 15 minutes while he laughs at the door. FML

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Hot hot hot

By Anonymous - 03/06/2022 12:00

Today, I'm in hospital. During date night, after sex was over, I reached for my whiskey. I was already so drunk, I accidentally picked up the lit candle which was in a glass roughly the same size as my whiskey glass, and poured melted wax in my mouth, up my nose, and in my eyes. FML

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By -_- - 13/08/2011 00:05 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML

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By Anonymous - 02/05/2023 00:00

Today, my boyfriend wanted a blowjob, shortly after we've started dating. He said to be careful because he blows a massive load. Thinking he's full of crap, I rolled my eyes and got to work. Had him going and then a massive load shot down my throat and a bunch of fire hoses sprayed out my nose. It burned so bad. FML

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Superfuzz Big Muff

By miiiiilk - 05/12/2010 11:12 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

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Like in the movies

By alltern8ive - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML

agreeclassic 30 647

vote type 1 5 166

By Anonymous - 29/06/2010 17:34 - Canada

Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML

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By Anonymous - 18/10/2010 04:10 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur.' FML

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Nomnom

By wow babe - 19/11/2012 17:46 - United States - Arnold

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

agreeclassic 39 116

vote type 1 5 631

By Anonymous - 24/10/2017 06:00

Today, I had a few drinks with a female friend after having a bad week. I got so wasted that I wound up ending the night by giving my boyfriend a rimjob. He thoroughly enjoyed it and thinks it's going to be a regular thing now. FML

agreeclassic 2 594

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hatesfate 6

Thursday 22 March 2012 11:53

That's hot

harrypotter955 19

Thursday 22 March 2012 11:58

Only in Michigan can this happen.

Comments

Norris_IV 1

Wednesday 13 June 2012 2:07

Only one thing he could say there: Sorry for party rocking!

donkeytowel 11

Tuesday 25 June 2013 7:28

that actually sounds really fun :D

Briar101 12

Wednesday 11 June 2014 8:05

Fireball whiskey

Countryboy1996 18

Monday 23 March 2015 8:23

Get your redneck ahh tf off FML lmao ?

joco4 27

Wednesday 9 December 2015 9:11

But, why?

joco4 27

Wednesday 9 December 2015 9:12

But, why?

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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