Miscellaneous Finger lickin'

Finger lickin'

Anonymous - - United States - Brecksville

Today, I smelled chicken nuggets and asked my boyfriend if he was making some. He wasn't. It was my armpits. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

isoheartcaitlin - 25/08/2009 03:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML

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fartlover - 27/11/2009 05:10 - Canada

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML

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Noname - 16/01/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML

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Caught

broke_otaku - 09/08/2009 04:21 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me to sniff his armpit to see if he was the one who smelled. I did because we are that comfortable with us. After a couple of sniffs I heard laughter. I forgot I was sitting in his living room and his family was watching me the whole time. I am now the BO finder. FML

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Reliena - 21/01/2012 05:47 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were in the shower, we began to get a bit frisky. That was until I lifted my arms and he immediately made one of his "Chewbacca Calls." He was referring to my armpits that I had forgotten to shave. FML

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Anonymous - 15/12/2009 04:16 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me why girls don't have armpit hair. FML

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Kitchen nightmare

not chicken spaghetti - 18/12/2016 23:58 - United States - Clarksville

Today, while cooking supper with my boyfriend, we both smelled something funny. He tasted the sauce I was making, then asked me to taste it because something was off. I guess the burned Teflon of our cheap pot mixed with Ro-Tel just doesn't work that well. Now we're having dry chicken and plain noodles. FML

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sausagefingers - 22/10/2012 05:29 - United States - Nixa

Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML

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Maria - 14/03/2017 15:00 - United Kingdom - York

Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML

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samantha - 27/01/2010 14:05 - Singapore

Today, I was sick with the flu so my boyfriend announced that he would make me some chicken soup. It was touching until I stumbled to the kitchen and found out that his "chicken soup" was actually leftover KFC bones boiled in water. FML

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noobsatin 19

Tuesday 1 October 2013 0:20

that's a bad choice in deodorant.

misspulkadot24 17

Tuesday 1 October 2013 0:21

Except your armpit isn't finger licking good ya nasty. Use some Dove on that shit.

burritosrgood 12

Thursday 3 October 2013 4:46

I nearly threw up there. I can smell it... OH GOD NO I CAN TASTE IT!

sparklyleopard 9

Saturday 5 October 2013 8:33

I can only imagine what your ****** smells like. Rotting fish sticks...

diarheea101 11

Saturday 12 October 2013 19:30

I'm an ohioan....

LyricaSilvan 29

Wednesday 18 February 2015 22:47

Gross. Deodorant and showers do exist, you know.

ButDatAssDoe 12

Tuesday 3 March 2015 5:58

Musta been one helluva party...

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Wednesday 13 February 2019 19:18

Either you need to change your deodorant or you need to start wearing deodorant.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I received a company-wide email from my boss, praising a coworker's extra effort at improving our line of business. The coworker's efforts were a direct copy-and-paste of a plan I put together three months ago. No one cared when I gave the presentation. FML

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Today, I babysat my niece and thought a quick shower would be fine. I left her watching cartoons with a blanket and returned to find she’d used washable paints on the carpet and her hands, leaving tiny colorful footprints to the couch. Her proud smile made me forgive the mess, but I spent the evening scrubbing. FML

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Today, my live-in mother-in-law brazenly swiped most of the money from my wallet, then walked out of the room as if nothing had happened. The worst thing is that my wife believes anything she says, so I can't do a damn thing about it. FML

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Today, I'm going through the first/worst heartbreak of my life, all while studying for med school finals. Every time I try to focus on studying, I see a flashback of his smile and I melt. FML

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Today, despite driving extremely slowly and cautiously, we slid off the road due to ice and snow. The car hit a rock and the airbags deployed. We were in my 3-month-old car because the engine in my husband's truck blew last week. Merry Christmas to us. FML

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Today, I made my school's soccer team. I told the coach that since I have diabetes, I might need to sit out occasionally. He promptly erased my name and said he didn't accept "slackers." FML

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