Sex and Love: Do me

Do me

By noneofthesex - 10/02/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying, "Come over and do me." He never responded. FML

agreeclassic 48 562

vote type 1 12 165

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Similar FMLs

Steamy

By DreeStahr - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Liberty

Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML

agreeclassic 14 387

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Remote sex

By Anonymous - 05/02/2020 05:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML

agreeclassic 2 409

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By Anonymous - 10/05/2009 18:46 - United States

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying, "I can come over today. She thinks I've got work." I think he had the wrong number. FML

agreeclassic 86 534

vote type 1 4 228

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes

By Anonymous - 08/04/2022 14:00

Today, after I decided to see what would happen if I didn’t text my boyfriend first in the morning, I haven’t heard from him in two days. FML

agreeclassic 964

vote type 1 357

By sleepingbeauty - 24/04/2016 08:45 - United States - Jackson

Today, I got in a fight with my boyfriend. I sent him a long message pouring my heart out about how hurt I am that he constantly ignores me or responds to almost everything I say in monosyllables. He texted back "ok". FML

agreeclassic 20 270

vote type 1 3 788

By princess - 17/03/2009 05:06 - Canada

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

agreeclassic 152 016

vote type 1 40 669

By Anonymous - 09/01/2014 17:59 - United States - Imperial

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

agreeclassic 65 128

vote type 1 7 780

By fml - 02/02/2011 09:48

Today, while my boyfriend was inside me, he got a text message. He actually stopped thrusting to reply. FML

agreeclassic 40 096

vote type 1 6 132

By McKenna - 16/07/2011 04:10 - United States

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

agreeclassic 39 415

vote type 1 17 930

By Anonymous - 04/06/2015 12:26 - United States - San Bruno

Today, I told my boyfriend I was horny and was waiting for him at my place. 30 minutes later, he still hadn't arrived, so I called him and asked if he was coming. He replied "Already did, right into a kleenex." and hung up. FML

agreeclassic 34 568

vote type 1 4 451

troynt 2

Tuesday 10 February 2009 23:43

double standard ... if the roles were reversed no one would care.

deeznutzismine 0

Tuesday 10 February 2009 23:10

Text me instead!

Comments

HannaKingdom 5

Sunday 24 July 2011 0:24

I feel your pain! Though my bf ignores me for computer games -_-"

Oxylethagra 1

Friday 23 September 2011 6:37

I'll do you...

xx10hope 2

Thursday 3 November 2011 22:01

You say that now but if you got pregnant youd be all HE PRESSURED ME and crap. You know what im saying?

cicidawn16 0

Wednesday 23 May 2012 3:01

Your bf must have been doing something important. Never heard of A guy turning down a booty call!

Oceanlondon 5

Wednesday 10 October 2012 3:39

Hope his parents didn't have his phone

Bob_Walker 2

Thursday 27 June 2013 21:11

thats a bad sign...

corocoro 30

Tuesday 13 August 2013 17:55

Newsflash: Men aren't always in the mood for sex. Sometimes we sleep.

Federgirl 19

Friday 18 April 2014 8:20

that's sooo sad....

freufenglibber 4

Saturday 5 July 2014 7:52

Agreed

fantasyworld 37

Friday 25 July 2014 4:49

Are you sure he got it?

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Top

Today, we got a new window washer in my office : a three-year-old, who decided the best tool for the job was his tongue. I'm the only one in the office willing to touch a bottle of glass cleaner. FML

agreeclassic 4 255

vote type 1 402

Today, just three weeks after my wife died, I received a substantial life insurance payment. Do I laugh or cry? FML

agreeclassic 1 111

vote type 1 112

Today, my husband and I are still having a dumb fight over remodeling. He's decided to take an immature route and pretends to be asleep whenever I walk into a room so he doesn't have to talk about it. Earlier, he pretended to fall asleep at the dinner table. FML

agreeclassic 25 453

vote type 1 4 027

Today, I had a job interview at a local business with the owner who was man, and the manager who was a woman. I thought I did pretty well because I heard the manager whisper so, as I was walking out. Then I heard the owner whisper "no fat chicks." FML

agreeclassic 44 585

vote type 1 6 842

Today, my long-term boyfriend said that if we ever finally get married, his ex-girlfriend will definitely have to be a bridesmaid. FML

agreeclassic 34 544

vote type 1 3 090

Today, I'm watching another teen TV show, taking me back to my childhood, which sucked in a million ways, being the poorest and ugliest nerd with an evil father. I never enjoyed a day of my childhood, teenage or school. Grades were a life and death situation, because education was the only way out of that hell hole. FML

agreeclassic 537

vote type 1 164