Calculating Tax and Tip By FML Approved - 11/10/2017 03:00 Math is hard. agreeclassic 497 vote type 1 140 Share Tweet Share
Today, I had sex with my cousin's husband, multiple times. This isn’t the first time and probably won’t be the last. I'm also married but haven’t been intimate with my husband in almost a year. He and I have discussed being together openly but we know it would mess up both of our lives as well as our families. FML agreeclassic 101 vote type 1 968
Today, I got reverse suspended for correcting my teacher. Now my mom has to go to all my high school classes with me for a week. FML agreeclassic 6 060 vote type 1 650
Today, my boyfriend bought us three kittens. Today, I also discovered that I am allergic to cats. My boyfriend broke up with me because he wanted the cats more than me. FML agreeclassic 32 808 vote type 1 4 356
Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML agreeclassic 11 381 vote type 1 128 004
Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML agreeclassic 37 421 vote type 1 4 454
Today, I confessed to my roommate of 4 years that I'm in love with her. Her response? Sticking her tongue out at me and blowing a raspberry. FML agreeclassic 32 113 vote type 1 4 291
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