Miscellaneous: Better out than in

Better out than in

By flying13 - 03/11/2010 07:27 - United States

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

agreeclassic 63 537

vote type 1 13 283

The rhythm of the fight
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Basic communication

By Tim - 16/06/2009 06:15 - United States

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod, and leaves. FML

agreeclassic 80 036

vote type 1 6 025

By Stinky and Single - 06/08/2015 23:14 - United States

Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML

agreeclassic 24 781

vote type 1 6 714

Stealth bomber

By Jogger - 19/08/2020 14:01

Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop when the guy stood behind me let out a huge fart, then walked away. The rest of the line turned around, thinking that it was me. An old lady started to lecture me about being rude, while the guy who did it laughed behind his mask in the corner of the shop. FML

agreeclassic 1 583

vote type 1 137

Stealth

By smellyhair - 02/11/2014 11:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML

agreeclassic 40 148

vote type 1 3 871

By ECullen - 21/05/2009 19:13 - United States

Today, I was talking to this guy that I like a lot and I think he likes me back. When he told me I was beautiful I laughed so hard that I farted. Loudly. FML

agreeclassic 56 745

vote type 1 24 982

An attempt was made

By bubblewrap - 20/10/2015 10:13 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

agreeclassic 26 817

vote type 1 11 984

By toosmall - 31/01/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML

agreeclassic 32 620

vote type 1 2 614

By Noname - 19/02/2009 23:17 - United States

Today, I was at the library studying. There was a really cute guy across the room. I decided to play it cool and walk his way and grab some water. Right as I walked by, my body decided to let out the loudest fart. He laughed. I kept walking and asked my friend to grab my books. FML

agreeclassic 34 017

vote type 1 14 139

By Anonymous - 01/03/2010 22:04 - United States

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

agreeclassic 49 745

vote type 1 10 949

My body hates me

By HappilyNeverAfter - 18/09/2014 03:14 - Canada - Port Perry

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

agreeclassic 46 859

vote type 1 5 293

rottentomatoes 7

Wednesday 3 November 2010 16:14

haha, strangers who make you feel awkward are awesome.

Richisme 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 16:07

bubbles baby

Comments

ScarredFlame 17

Thursday 5 December 2013 0:17

love it! farts are funny! to me at least..

NorwegianDragon 1

Sunday 18 May 2014 18:01

you sir have met jesus

pinkstardust 9

Saturday 27 June 2015 19:58

That happens to me alot Except with my boyfriend

cskeet 17

Wednesday 22 July 2015 7:47

how is this a complaint?? he gave you the best story ever haha

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, after my wife set a new rule to improve my health, one sex session for every three visits to the gym, which has greatly improved our sex life for two months, and I've never been fitter, but now she complains I'm not keeping her company on the couch anymore. FML

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