Love, Creepy, Stalker and Awkward: Bad choice of material, dude

Bad choice of material, dude

By screwed - this FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff

Today, I told my on and off girlfriend as a joke that I stalked her two years ago. She didn't believe me. When I say she didn't believe me, I mean she didn't believe it was a joke. FML

agreeclassic 548

vote type 1 2 377

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You're so vain…

By Anonymous - 17/01/2022 05:01

Today, my girlfriend of two years took offense to a "That's what she said joke", and blew up, saying she doesn't like those jokes. She thinks that she is the "She" of the jokes every time I guess. I tried explaining how the jokes work, but she wouldn't believe me. She says that I'm just lying. FML

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By Username - 29/05/2011 04:41 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of something I said 2 years ago, as a joke. I guess she took a while to get it. FML

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By jfranklin - 18/10/2010 01:39 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were making fun of a photo album on Facebook containing pictures of two friends who just got engaged. I jokingly asked her to marry me. She said yes. We have been dating for two months. She's not in on the joke. FML

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By Anonymous - 11/11/2015 08:51 - Australia - Abbotsford

Today, one of my friends thought it would be funny to tell my psycho clinger of an ex that I still like her. It had only been a few months since she finally stopped stalking me. FML

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By whaleninjapoop - 06/12/2012 08:24 - United States - Raleigh

Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML

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By anonymous - 06/09/2016 03:05 - United States - Monroe

Today, my girlfriend told me that she didn't know we were actually dating. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/03/2013 05:23 - United States

Today, I texted a girl I met at the bar last night. She accused me of being "fake" because she couldn't find me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, then threatened to call the cops on me. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/12/2014 16:19 - United States - Memphis

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she's been cheating on me for the past two months. Apparently she thought I'd take it well, because when I yelled at her for being a heartless bitch, she stuttered "S-sike!" and tried to play it off as a prank. She's acting like we're still dating. FML

agreeclassic 38 024

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Pranked

By Anonymous - 30/03/2016 06:53 - United States - Manchester

Today, I introduced my long-distance boyfriend of 2 years to my friends. I told him how my friends jokingly call him my imaginary Internet boyfriend. He thought it was so funny that when they met, he claimed to be my cousin, saying that I paid him to pretend to be my boyfriend. They believed him. FML

agreeclassic 26 319

vote type 1 3 004

By Anonymous - 05/07/2009 05:59 - United States

Today, I was walking around town with the girl I have loved for four years and have been 100% faithful to. A girl thought it would be funny to approach me and pretend she was the girl I was seeing, and that I was cheating on her. My girlfriend believed her and broke up with me. FML

agreeclassic 83 890

vote type 1 4 617

newwitch2010 11

Wednesday 11 March 2020 23:56

Seriously, that's what you went with? Why would you think that was funny???

bigredmonkeybutt 28

Thursday 12 March 2020 0:05

Don’t try that joke on your next girlfriend.

Comments

newwitch2010 11

Wednesday 11 March 2020 23:56

Seriously, that's what you went with? Why would you think that was funny???

bigredmonkeybutt 28

Thursday 12 March 2020 0:05

Don’t try that joke on your next girlfriend.

bloopaloop 27

Thursday 12 March 2020 4:57

Does she also think y’all are “on and off” or just “off”?

mccuish 25

Thursday 12 March 2020 5:24

How was that suppose to be funny

ojoRojo 27

Thursday 12 March 2020 15:22

Wow that’s soooo funny, I can’t believe it backfired -__-

WistayShlaio82 13

Friday 13 March 2020 2:10

That’s what you get for dating glass jaw girls.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I walked out halfway through a much anticipated dick appointment because it became apparent that he thought my clit was located somewhere on my upper thigh. He kept rubbing it and moaning, "Oooooh, I bet you like that, baby." No, sir, I certainly did not. FML

agreeclassic 1 667

vote type 1 300

Today, my husband argued that it's not cheating if he's using his brother's Facebook account to talk to other women, because they think it's him. FML

agreeclassic 2 117

vote type 1 161

Today, I decided it would be pretty amusing to press the "Like" button on everyone's status on Facebook without reading them just to get on peoples' nerves. After re-reading them later, I found out one of them said "I MISS YOU SOO MUCH GRANDMOM. RIP". I liked that her grandmother died. FML

agreeclassic 25 661

vote type 1 200 240

Today, I received a friend request on Facebook. I didn't know her, but she was cute, so I accepted the request. After looking at her pictures, I sent her a message saying "What's up cutie, do I know you?". She responded "Yes, I'm your cousin". FML

agreeclassic 13 209

vote type 1 57 481

Today, I went to my girlfriend's sorority formal, we were both drunk. We went into the bathroom, she started to give me head. After about 30 seconds the song changes and she jumps up and goes out to dance, leaving me there. Door open. Penis out. It was the song she requested. FML

agreeclassic 76 410

vote type 1 20 175

Today, I rented some movies in attempts to cheer up my best friend. Her husband just died a few weeks ago in a helicopter accident. I was in a rush and didn't read the descriptions of the two films, one was about a plane crash where all the passengers died. She cried through the entire movie. FML

agreeclassic 11 740

vote type 1 87 834

Bad choice of material, dude

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You're so vain…

Pranked

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