School, Birthday, Weird and Creepy: Back to school for the lucky few

Back to school for the lucky few

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it's my 17th birthday. The only person who remembered was the creepy guy in my English class who keeps trying to smell my hair. FML

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vote type 1 4 354

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TOP COMMENTS

jackiemora 18

Saturday 27 April 2013 19:33

Maybe surprise party later? Who knows.

twiride 12

Saturday 27 April 2013 19:32

Ouch. Sorry op, happy birthday!

Comments

miller628 4

Saturday 27 April 2013 20:32

Happy Birthday OP :)

Phoebe_Buffay 14

Saturday 27 April 2013 20:34

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! see, i remembered.

Hardwarre 7

Saturday 27 April 2013 20:42

Your hair must smell really good, but happy birthday op!

Not_Impressed13 9

Saturday 27 April 2013 21:00

Maybe no-one wanted to remind you that you are getting old?

Lilsebastianlove 5

Saturday 27 April 2013 21:06

You go to school on saturday?

bioss89 16

Saturday 27 April 2013 21:09

Happy Birthday OP! At least someone cares for you.

akimes94 5

Saturday 27 April 2013 21:09

That's what Facebook is for.

sweetsammiedee 16

Saturday 27 April 2013 21:15

Now you have to let him get a whiff...jk that's weird. Happy Birthday OP (:

martinfml 8

Saturday 27 April 2013 21:20

But... it's Saturday? Anyway, I wish you a happy birthday.

Enslaved 36

Saturday 27 April 2013 21:45

Seventeen instead of "Sixteen Candles"? Hopefully Farmer Fred or Long Duck Dong with soon be replaced by your Jake Ryan! (:

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML

agreeclassic 59 713

vote type 1 12 221

Today, I was supposed to be enjoying a long-anticipated, desperately needed, weekend away. Turns out those "little stomach twinges" were actually symptoms of appendicitis. I'm stuck in the hospital, alone, recovering from surgery, while my family is enjoying our non-refundable break. FML

agreeclassic 14 689

vote type 1 1 044

Today, I found out that most of the people I work with secretly refer to me as the "designated bottom" because they assumed from my slight stature and soft spoken personality that I was a submissive homosexual. My wife thinks it’s hilarious and keeps grabbing my ass to make me jump in shock. FML

agreeclassic 1 971

vote type 1 265

Today, I ordered take out, and paid with a credit card. The cute cashier gave me the receipt to sign, and under 'tip' I gave a couple of dollars. I realized that I had given too much, crossed it out, and changed it. Unaware she was watching, She then responded, "Did you just lower the tip by $1?" FML

agreeclassic 13 686

vote type 1 75 253

Today, I learned there is such a thing as "too much sex". After a full week of having sex at least twice a day with my girlfriend, I had to go to the GP due to a painful erection and swelling. The constant sex had caused me to burst a blood vessel in my penis. FML

agreeclassic 8 685

vote type 1 2 920

Today, I tried to be the cool older cousin by teaching my nephew how to skateboard. He’s now doing tricks, and I’m sitting on the sidewalk with a sprained ankle because I haven't skated since the Bush administration. FML

agreeclassic 179

vote type 1 455